Oh my God, a hipster! Marge, get him a microbrew, quick!
S31The Winter of Our Monetized Content
S31Go Big or Go Homer
Okay, which of these ties is better for my first day as a mentor? Purple stripes or this one?
[sniff, sniff] Are you wearing my perfume?
I like it on you, he'll like it on me.
MMike
I can't believe it! I'm 35 and I'm at the foot of the world's greatest bababoo!
MMike
Hey, Lenny, you duck-faced psycho! Guess who's going to Homer Simpson's house for a meal?! Me.
Uh, I'm Carl!
S31Treehouse of Horror XXX
Oh, I must stop this spawn of Satan; but can I really find it in my heart to kill a child?
MMoe
Len, Stop.
S31Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?
Ralph, what would you say?
I would say, Baby Jesus, thank you for dying for our shins.
S31Hail to the Teeth
That's your brother. He prefers the pronoun "they", on account of the twin he absorbed in my belly.
S31The Miseducation of Lisa Simpson
Skins? That's how boys play dress-up.
S31Frinkcoin
"I'm the richest man in a town of 32,000 people."
S31The Hateful Eight-Year-Olds
Why do you always wreck the stuff I care about? Big brothers are supposed to be helpful and a little nice. I wish I could un-brother you.
Not if I un-sister you first.
Fine. [Grabs her tiny scissors on the floor] By the power of safety scissors, I hereby sever the sibling bond. [Cuts the sibling bond between her and Bart] Snip.
S32Undercover Burns
Aw, somebody drew a cucumber crying, that's nice.
Oh, why can't I be loved AND feared, like God?
Why? Because you're the boss, we're the workers. It goes back to caveman days. Ten guys killed the mammoth while the boss yelled at them. Then the boss got all the meat and they got all the toenails. Because that's the way life works. Next came the Renaissance, and the invention of the time clock, which meant the boss no longer had to waste time checking on his employees and could become Pope and marry his sister. With recent times came unions and workers' rights. Which were then taken away in even more recent times.
Wrap it up, Homer. That catwalk is starting to buckle.
My point is, no matter what, Mr. Burns, the boss sucks, so why shouldn't you?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.