She loves me, she loves me not. Oh, why do I always use flowers with two pedals?
S30Bart's Not Dead
I'm turning my back on you. [does a 360] Hi, Bart!
S30My Way or the Highway to Heaven
GBGenevieve Bouvier
'My husband is a collaborator!'
UPUS Paratrooper
'Well I've got a screenplay I've been looking for someone to help me write.'
GBGenevieve Bouvier
'Not zat kind.'
UPUS Paratrooper
'If I just get something on the page, that's progress.'
S30Treehouse of Horror XXIX
Fools! This whole contest was a ruse! [Homer then yelps after being grabbed by two Fogburyport citizens] You are here to be sacrifice to an evil god from the ocean depths.
SpongeBob?
No! To the eternal lord of horror, Cthulhu!
An eating contest against the monstrous Cthulhu? To him, the Great Barrier Reef is just an average barrier reef.
Well, my dad didn't eat breakfast.
CCthulhu
Uh-oh.
S30From Russia Without Love
Ho-ho. One Sumatran Breeding Rat, already in labor.
[opens Bart's bedroom door, sternly] You paid for mail-order rats when your grandfather's nursing home is full of them? [the scene changes to the kitchen] All right, boy. I'm gonna find out just what you've been up to. [switches the light off, turns the torch on, Marge enters the kitchen and switches the light on]
[gulps] Oh, Mom, thank god.
[switches the light off, turns the torch on, hand it to Homer] This one's brighter. [to Bart] Now talk. What are you up to? All right, we'll make you talk. Give me your phone.
MMoe
I'm putting on pants for this!
S30Krusty the Clown
I come bearing the thing you journalists hate most. News.
S30Daddicus Finch
This is Kent Brockman. I'm here with three local blue-collar men who voted for Trump. How do you feel now?
BCBlue-Collar Man
Please stop interviewing us.
Never!
S30The Girl on the Bus
You were sleeping like teacher.
Oh, Ralph. I'm deceiving all the people I love, and it's so exciting.
Lies are like stars... they always come out.
Oh, my God, that's really profound.
I have five face holes!
[yells at Bart] You do not say suck at the dinner table!
But veggie loaf does suck. It sucks a whole truck full of butts.
You leave trucks out of this.
S30I'm Dancing as Fat as I Can
Diddly? They can't say that on TV.
S30I Want You (She's So Heavy)
[inside the lobster tank] I'm expensive!
S30D'oh Canada
While the children are bouncing around why we don't do a little bouncing too.
That it's even more romantic than what you said at quarter backs.
S31The Winter of Our Monetized Content
They say Muhammad Ali was the greatest of all time, but he never fought Cassius Clay.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.