Man, that horse don't take no guff from nobody.
JKJimbo/Kearney
Guff?!
I mean shi-- [both punch Nelson]
S11Saddlesore Galactica
Did that really happen, or was it just a wonderful dream?
JJockey
[suddenly appears] No dream! Lose the race, fat boy! [Homer sobs]
Son, don't ask why, but you have to lose the big race.
You want me to lose the Springfield Derby? But you always taught me that winning was everything.
Oh, it is, it is. But we've been pushing that poor horse too hard.
Maybe, but if Duncan wins the derby, he can spend the rest of his days as a stud.
Well, it is a good life. Believe me. [giggles] All right, we'll give it a shot. I'll deal with those murderous trolls.
Huh?
I mean, I'll deal with those murderous trolls.
S11Alone Again, Natura-Diddily
Ooh, a bobby pin. [ducks down, letting Maude get hit by T-shirts and fall to her death]
[gasps] Maude?
Oh, my lord! She's dead!
[gasps]
It's hard to believe that we'll never see Maude again.
I can't believe my last words to Maude were, "No foot-longs."
Now, now, now, don't beat yourself up. I'm the one who drove her out of her seat. I'm the one who provoked the lethal barrage of T-shirts. I'm the one who parked in the ambulance zone, preventing any possible resuscitation. [notices Ned glaring at him] Yeah, I, uh... but there's no point in playing the blame game.
I'm sure your wife is dating a lot of people in heaven!
Are you sure?
Positive! There's a lot of hot people up there. There's John Wayne, Tupac Shakur, Sherlock Holmes--
Ah, now Sherlock Holmes is a character.
Oh, he sure was! [does a sexy growl]
Dad, why are you taping Flanders?
You'll see. [he chuckles]
Do you even have a job anymore?
I think it's pretty obvious that I don't.
[While Homer is filming Lenny, Carl, and Moe in front of Moe's Tavern for Ned's bachelor tape]
So if you're tired of dating the same old losers!
...What are you doing, Homer?
In many ways, Maude Flanders was a supporting player in our lives. She didn't grab our attention with memorable catchphrases or comical accents.
Aye.
SMThe Sea Captain/Captain McCallister
Yargh.
Professor Frink (sobbing): Oh glay-vin! Why glay-vin?
But, whether you noticed her or not, Maude was always there...and we thought she always would be.
S11Missionary: Impossible
TTV
You're watching PBS.
You're watching PBS?!
Hey, I'm as surprised as you. But I've stumbled across a delicious new comedy about soccer hooligans. If they're not having a go with a bird, they're having a row with a wanker.
Cheeky!
RMr. Rogers
It's a beautiful day to kick your ass!
OGOscar The Grouch
Give us the money!
EElmo
Elmo knows where you live!
[Homer has just arrived on the island and he doesn't know what to do]
You're leaving! Wait! What do I do here!
AAmy
First of all, forget everything you learned in Missionary school.
Done.
CCraig
We taught them some English and we ridiculed away most of their beliefs. You can take it from there.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.