MMeathook
[to Homer] There's only one reasonable way to settle this, you and me in the circle of death.
Ohh, I just swept the circle of death.
S11Take My Wife, Sleaze
S11Grift of the Magi
BMBart and Milhouse
Sisters are doing it for themselves!
Hey! Why is this door locked?
Oh no, it's Dad! [Bart falls out of the bed, landing on a bowling ball on the floor]
[screams] What's going on?! [shaking his fist] And I want the non-gay explanation!
Uh, we're drunk. Really drunk.
Oh, thank God!
GCGary Coleman
Well, well, if it isn't the biggest rip-off since "Webster."
I don't get mad, I get stabby.
This is a proud day. Now when people ask if we're in compliance the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1975, I can say, we are closer than ever before!
Hello, I'm Dr.Stupid! I'm going to take out your liver bones.[decapitates the Mr.Burns dummy] Oops, you're dead!
BMr.Burns
I never liked that Dr.Stupid.
Fun toys are fun!
TTeacher
Well said, Ralph, but we're trying to come up with a name for a toy?
JPJaney Powell
Mrs. Fun?
TTeacher
Not bad!
Fun?
TTeacher
Ralph, there are no right or wrong answers, but if you don't pipe down, I'm giving you a F!
The before teacher yelled at me too.
TTeacher
No-one's yelling, Ralph, we're just brainstorming. Lisa, any ideas?
Oh, a name with fun? Fungus, Funzo, Atilla the Fun...
TTeacher
Lisa, are you doing math?!
Just a few Venn diagrams.
There's more under her chair!
So have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Krazy Kwanzaa, a Tip-Top Tet, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan. And now, a word from my god, our sponsor...
LNLindsay Naegle
I'm sorry, Gary. There's no longer a place for you here.
GCGary Coleman
What you talkin' 'bout, Miss Naegle?
LNLindsay Naegle
That is so adorable! You're rehired!
GCGary Coleman
Sucker! I knew exactly what she was talkin' 'bout.
S11Little Big Mom
[chases after the truck] Oh, no, you don't! [jumps onto the truck] Oh, precious heirlooms, Daddy would never let them take you. [picks up a box, he jumps out of a truck, rolls himself into his family]
Okay, don't panic. Remember what the instructor said.
SISki Instructor
[In Homer's thoughts] If you ever get into trouble, all you need to do is--
[Cutting in] Feels like I'm wearing nothin' at all!
["Nothin' at all!" echoes several times.]
Aah! Stupid sexy Flanders..! [his leg bone cracks] Ow, my leg! This is the worst pain ever! [gets repeatedly hit in the crotch by snow mounds]
I got the groceries!
Good! Maple soda? A cell phone full of candy?! Astronaut bread?
It's the bread of astronauts.
I didn't know Aerosmith made a cereal...
[Lisa sends Bart off to school and Homer off to work.]
Here are your lunches. And no trading them for fireworks!
Aww, but Lenny just got some bottle rockets!
You stay away from Lenny!
[the Simpsons gaze the spectacular sunset with Homer calling in the dermabrasion hut]
Aloha AIIE!!!
Aloha OHHE!!!
Until we meet aAIGH!!!
S11Faith Off
[cooking meat] Okay, who needs another lamb rack? [Marge and Bart nod no] Lisa? Ham hock, Tri-tip?
Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Well I think the veal died of loneliness.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.