Dad, they're going to kill us!
Oh, why do all my trips end like this?
S10Maximum Homerdrive
Your father traded all of our tools for M&M's again.
[last lines]
SDSr. Ding Dong
[realizing his car won't start] Does anyone have jumper cables?
S10Simpsons Bible Stories
[as Adam to Marge (as Eve)] You're pretty uptight for a naked chick.
[The Simpsons watch as their neighborhood is engulfed by The Apocalypse]
Oh, no, it's the Apocalypse! Bart, are you wearing clean underwear?
Not anymore.
It's Rapture, and I never knew true love.
I never used those pizza coupons.
Hey, Pharaoh, those half-pint slaves are "exodus Ing" as we speak.
Well, I say good riddance to bad rubbish.
Okay, but who's going to build your pyramids?
Well, we-- After them!
MAMilhouse as Moses
[Israelites reach the Red Sea as the Egyptians chase them] Screw this! I'm converting. Save us, O Mighty Ra!
SLSlave Lisa
Now we have 40 years of wandering in the desert.
MMMilhouse/Moses
Forty years? But after that, it's clear sailing for the Jews, right?
SLSlave Lisa
Uh, more or less...Hey, is that manna?
BDBart/David
Goliath II is going to pay. And this time, it's biblical.
S10Mom and Pop Art
[Homer tries to build a barbecue pit, but all the set's content spills out of box and onto cement bed, and when he takes them out and puts them on the barrow filled with bricks, the bricks fall in as well; Homer then tries to put the pit together as much as he can before the concrete dries, but the instructions are covered in wet cement]
English side ruined! Must use French instructions! Le grille? What the hell is that?!
[Cut to some time later, as it appears the pit was built exactly as the box showed]
Yeah, that's one fine looking barbecue pit. [it is revealed to be the design on the box, as the real end result is a jumbled mess] WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?! [finally snaps, then starts hitting the mess of a pit with a crowbar] WHY?! WHY MUST LIFE BE SO HARD?! WHY MUST I FAIL AT EVERY ATTEMPT AT MASONRY?!?!?
[Cut to kitchen, as Marge is making a cake and Bart is licking a popsicle]
How's your father's project coming along?
I think he's almost done. [He looks out, as we see Homer charge towards pit with an umbrella while screaming, shove it into an opening, and fall backwards as it opens up] Yeah, he's done.
[Homer is getting hit by soup cans thrown by Andy Warhol]
AWAndy Warhol
Soup's on, fat boy.
[Homer is on the ground whimpering. Warhol approaches him with a larger soup can. Homer awakes from the dream.]
Andy! No!
Homer! Homer!
[waking up] Oh, Marge! Why does art hate me? I never did anything to art. [he holds up his arm, his fist is through one of Andy Warhol's Soup Can paintings] Oh. Let's get out of here.
[as he looks at a picture of "Life in Hell"'s Akbar and Jeff] Matt Groening? What's he doing in a museum? He can barely draw.
Edna, look! A dimmer switch could ratchet up the romance in our love nest.
You mean the janitor's closet? Ha!
Oh, what's the matter, Edna? Lately you just say "ha!" to everything.
I want a baby... Now! [Bart is watching them]
Why don't we continue this in Pool Supplies?
How about it, Bart? Would you like a new backyard barbecue pit?
Can I burn evidence in it?
We can all burn evidence in it.
[as Homer attempts to get rid of the barbecue pit by putting it in the "Toys for Tots" bin...]
Yeah, hold on there, Santa Claus. That box is for toys only.
Well, of course! Any kid would love to have this ... activity center. It teaches them while they learn!
Yeah, nice try, Saint Nick. Now hit the road, Kris Kringle!
But...but--
You heard me, [pokes Homer's gut with nightstick] Père Noël. [Homer puts the barbecue pit on the cart and leaves; Fat Tony, Legs, and Louie come and dump a body in a bag into the bin] Whatcha got there?
Beanie Baby.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.