AAstrid
Your husband's work is what we call "outsider art". It could be by a mental patient, or a hillbilly, or a chimpanzee.
[gasps] In high school I was voted "Most Likely to Be a Mental Patient, Hillbilly, or Chimpanzee"!
S10Mom and Pop Art
Lisa, all great artists love free food. Check out Jasper Johns.
JJJasper Johns
[stuffs food into his jacket] You squeal on me, I'll kill you.
Homie, I'm really happy you sold your sculpture, but don't you think it may have been a fluke?
Hey, I've always had an interest in art, dating back to my schoolgirl days when I painted portrait after portrait of Ringo Starr.
That's my life you're describing!
I think I remember my own life, Marge.
Moe, this is Astrid, my dealer, and these are my fans: Gunter, Kilto, and Cecil Hamstead on Cecil Cecil.
MMoe
So, uh, you guys are Euro trash, huh? How's that, uh, workin' out for ya?
GGunter
Eh, to be honest, we are a drift in a sea of decadent luxury and meaningless sex.
MMoe
Uh-huh, so where might this sea be located?
GGunther
You've gone from hip to boring. Why don't you call us when you get to kitsch.
CHCecil Hampstead-on-Cecil Cecil
Come on Gunther, Kyoto. If we hurry we can still catch the heroin craze.
Why don't people like my art anymore?
Homer, I know you worked hard, but all of your ... things were kind of the same.
Hey, Ray Jay Johnson never changed his act, and he's more popular now than he's ever been.
Who?
"You can call him Ray, or you can call him Jay, or you can call him Ray Jay, but you doesn't have to call him..."
I'm sick of him already.
[Homer and Bart are throwing welcome mats out of the car windows, covering up the street drains]
Hit the road, "Welcome home"!
Adiós, "Casa de Flanders"!
See you in Hell, "God bless this house"!
So long, "The Simpsons"! ...D'oh!
[as Homer opens up the fire hydrants]
Are you sure this is art and not vandalism?
That's for the courts to decide, son.
[after Homer floods Springfield]
AAstrid
[while floating on a log] I love it, Homer! You've turned this town into a work of art! I just wish Jasper Johns hadn't stolen my boat.
JJJasper Johns
[speeds by on a motorboat which splashes Astrid] So long, suckers!
FFlanders
Maude, it's a miracle! The Lord has drowned the wicked and spared the righteous.
[gasps] Isn't that Homer Simpson?
FFlanders
Looks like heaven's easier to get into than Arizona State.
Well, Homer, I have to admit, you created something people really love. You truly are an artist.
No, I'm just a nut who couldn't build a barbecue.
S10The Old Man and The "C" Student
AAbe
Settle a bet. Boil or mole?
Hey, Chalmers, where are you from?
Well, I was born in Queens, went to Ball State, then made the move to Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Uh, why do you ask?
[Bart is about to say something when Skinner quickly puts his hand over his mouth]
PSPrincipal Skinner
Uh, don't worry, sir. I'll teach these children some respect for their town. I'm assigning each of you 20 hours of community service.
[the children walk offstage, groaning and moaning]
Intercourse?
What if we refuse?
SSkinner
You won't pass to the next grade!
I fail to see the threat.
CChalmers
SKINNER! Good idea. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to my vacation at Lake Titicaca. Try to make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy.
[Bart looks at Skinner, and Skinner waves his hands "no"]
You tell him when he's asleep?
S10Monty Can't Buy Me Love
It's time to win the love of these hate-filled morons.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.