Oh God. Can't this town go one day without a riot?
S10Mayored to the Mob
MMoe
[after giving a bribe to Mayor Quimby, and under this some cockroaches start walking] We're working on that 'roach situation, I swear to God!
[pauses briefly, then takes the money] Well, you should see the hospital.
Luke, do something! Use your Lightsaber!
MHMark Hamill
What, and break it?! You know George Lucas made me pay for these.
Tell me, how do you feel about 45-year-old virgins who still live with their parents?
FCFemale Comic Book Fan
Comb the SweetTarts out of your beard, and you're on.
Don't try to change me, baby.
FNFrank Nelson Type
YEEEEEESSSSSS?
Do you have a table for the mayor?
FNFrank Nelson Type
YEEEEEESSSSS!
Why do you talk like that?
FNFrank Nelson Type
I had a STROOOOOOKE!
[to Bart and Lisa] Hold it, what's your clearance?
We just wanna get a snack.
Access denied.
But, Dad... [Homer pinches the kids on the shoulder, sending them to the floor, unconscious]
Homer, I don't want you using your new sleeper hold on the children.
They'll be fine in half an hour.
Oh My God, I killed the Mayor! Alright, stay calm. I'll just use the body to stage an elaborate farce a la Weekend At Bernie's.
If I was Fat Tony, and God willing someday I will be, I'd just be stewing in my jail cell getting madder and madder.
I don't have to worry about that, he's already out on bail. Well, I'm off to work.
You're guarding the mayor tonight, after Fat Tony swore revenge?
It's my duty, Marge. Besides, those mobsters don't scare me. Bart, will you start daddy's car?
Homer!
What? There's nothing to worry about.
Well, then you start it.
Alright, fine, I'll take a cab.
[As Homer fights for his life against one of Fat Tony's men]
MHMark Hamill
Homer, use the-!
The Force?
MHMark Hamill
The forks! Use the forks!
[Homer attending a Leavelle's body guard school]
LLeavelle
Your loyalty is to your protectee. Not to you country. Not to your family. [turns to Homer] Not even to Moo-Hammid.
Even during Ramadan?
LLeavelle
Shut your sass-hole boy.
Milking rats! THEY'RE MILKING RATS!
[to Fat Tony] Rats?! I am outraged! You promised me dog or higher!
S10Viva Ned Flanders
Alright here comes the implosion!
DWDemolition Worker
[Pushes the plunger down] Implosion? I thought you said...
[The Monty Burns Casino blows up in a cloud of dust with a variety of things, as well as Don Rickles, flying out into the air]
HOCKEY PUUUUUCK!
[as they all run from the dust] Heh, heh! Don Rickles zinged ya, Marge!
[After running over someone in the dust cloud]
Dad, you hit Don Rickles!
I'm okay, but some Puerto Rican guy's trying to steal your hubcaps. [laughs] Just kidding! I'm a nice guy.
Slave girl! Oh, slave girl!
WWaitress
More libations, my imperial conqueror?
What was that?
OWOther Waitress
More booze. You want more booze?
Goshdarn it! Am I that pre-diddly-ictable? [sighs] I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life!
[a car stops besides Ned with Abe, Jasper and three attractive women]
Hey there!
Look at that! Everyone's living it up except Ned. [car pulls away out of earshot]
Help! We're being carjacked!
WWoman
Don't get clever, old man. [cocks a revolver] Now take us to Dress Barn.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.