MMoe
Well, Homer's gone. Let's all go into our suspended state 'til he gets back.
S24Homer Goes to Prep School
If Jesus had a gun, He'd be alive today.
Marge, this is it. TEOTWAWKI.
The end of the world as we know it?!?
I guess despite all our so-called civilization, anarchy lurks around every corner like a racially diverse street gang on a network cop show.
Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail?
I don't know; feed it to the dog.
You'd have to wrap cheese around it.
Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog!
Fun Center Supervisor [on her cell phone]: I hate working here. At least at Krusty Burger, you can burn yourself and go home.
S24A Test Before Trying
Looks like Mr. Vanilla just grew some chocolate chips.
Save your analogies for the analogy portion of the exam.
So how's the studying going?
When I start, I'll tell you. [lies down on the bed]
[sensually obsolete] This is the most selfish thing you've ever done! You're letting your friends go hang because you are lazy, and selfish-- [Bart closes his eyes slowly] hey, are you falling asleep just to spite me?
Spinach Farm, huh? You talk in your sleep!
Lisa, I want to pass the test, but I need your help and I had all sorts of problems. Lack of attention, I'm afraid of ovals, I only know 24 letters-- (Lisa closes her eyes that Bart done earlier) don't you fall asleep on me!
Well, Bart. I hope you're happy. All my extra credits are like frequent flyer miles on a bankrupt airline.
I hate waiting. That's why I hate risotto.
Even mushroom risotto?
What do you think?!?
KFMrs. Krabappel-Flanders
We got hired at this school to escape accountability. Who's gonna hire a hire a lunchlady who's been accused of murdering her husband?
Never convicted. They couldn't find the body. Anyone care for some chicken Pete pie?
When I found out shrimp cocktails had no alcohol, I really lost interest.
S24The Changing of the Guardian
Like all childless couples, they troll the beaches waiting for the egg-layers to wander off from their young.
Worry-wart Marge. You don't look a Trojan horse in the mouth.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.