No one judges my wife's thunder bags.
S24The Day the Earth Stood Cool
Wearing scarves in non-scarf weather is the essence of cool.
The kids are a mess. You brought them home exhausted and pretentious.
You're all bald.
No, I'm young person cool-bald. Not old person sad-bald.
TTerrence
You know there are now restaurants there with two locations. Not near my kids.
Beat it, ducks! I'm not old enough to have food for you. I'm sexy. Young and sexy!
S24To Cur with Love
I insist you never wear shoes or a proper necktie again. Just house slippers and the most humiliating tie there is - bolo.
HHerman
God closes a door, he opens a gunshot.
Well, that's just how dogs are. The most disloyal, unfaithful creatures God ever made.
Unfortunately, like all true stories, this one has a crappy ending.
You have a story with an ending.
He's alive!
And he didn't pee on the floor.
For me, that's a perfect day.
I love that dog...but that is one long, stupid name.
That's right, your lord sticks his hand in his pants. And yes, it is the same hand I tapped you with.
S24Homer Goes to Prep School
Listen, I gotta know. You're not just being nice to me because, in a pinch, you could make candles from my fat.
LLloyd
Well, that is a big part of it.
It's okay. I know what I am.
Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.