All you need to know is that I'm a politeness monster who eats "pleases" and farts "thank yous", ma'am.
I'm exactly the kind of kid he's pretending to be.
S24The Changing of the Guardian
I think I hear a slight accent.
WWoman
Mid-Atlantic.
*gasp* That's where they filmed The Wire! Step on it!
What women really want is a guy who's confident enough to go completely downhill after marriage and know she'll still love him.
Anything new that wanders into this house ends up in the stew pot.
Kids, your father and I have decided we're not in such a hurry to get you guardians.
Instead of concentrating on dying, we're going to concentrate on living.
If you call this living.
[turns red with anger] Why, you little... [furiously lunges at Bart and angrily strangles him] I do call this living. Living the way kids in lndia can only dream of.
There is nothing like your biological family.
S24Love is a Many-Splintered Thing
GGPS
Switching to male voice, so you will obey.
Finally, a supervisor!
MMary
[singing] There ain't not never no place none better than home. Count the negatives, it all works out.
You got star quality, like the Hulk in movies other than The Hulk.
I can't wait to use your moves on Lisa.
Eww. On every level, eww.
I'll be more attentive to your needs on the seesaw. I'll stay down there as long as you want.
S24Hardly Kirk-ing
"Spot the hidden objects." Boy, you're pretty pushy for a book I just met.
[after Marge tells them that she's banning TV from the house]
Honey, this sounds like a noble experiment, but like Prohibition, it will end in a hail of bullets.
That's the way people talk about Ralph. Ralph, whose favorite color is peanut butter.
[to Kuddle on the tablet] If I might you, why do I need all these books?
[Homer is watching Maggie's Baby Poindexter DVDs]
Dad, what are you watching?
I think it's a Terrence Malick movie.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.