"Spot the hidden objects." Boy, you're pretty pushy for a book I just met.
S24Hardly Kirk-ing
[after Marge tells them that she's banning TV from the house]
Honey, this sounds like a noble experiment, but like Prohibition, it will end in a hail of bullets.
That's the way people talk about Ralph. Ralph, whose favorite color is peanut butter.
[to Kuddle on the tablet] If I might you, why do I need all these books?
[Homer is watching Maggie's Baby Poindexter DVDs]
Dad, what are you watching?
I think it's a Terrence Malick movie.
We're taking Maggie to the bookstore, so she can learn the way kids did from 1910 to 2002.
[last lines]
Why, you little...! That's not a heartwarming thing to end on!
S24Gorgeous Grampa
[as Homer changes channels, sees "Swamp Huffers"] Um...
(sees "American Tattoo Burner-Offers) oh!
(sees "Autopsy Wars") Ugh!
(sees "Coackroach Tervention") Eek!
(sees "Wheelchair Thieves of Beverly Hills") Yikes!
(sees "Porn Hoarders") Oh.
(sees "One Big Happy Hobo Taxidermy Family") Ew.
(sees "Roadkill Cook-Off") Ugh.
(sees "Everglades Gay Wedding Chapel") Well...
(sees "Cough Syrup Bandit) ew!
(sees "American Junk Piercers") Ah!
(sees "Skunk People") Dad!
(sees "Tiny Horses, Tiny Glue Factory") Nope!
(sees "Toddlers and Tarantulas", screams)
(sees "Meth Boss") Whoa.
(sees "Crocodile Matchmaker") Seriously?
(sees "Porn Hoarders: Texas", shrieks)
[to Lisa] Your father wasted his life his whole life being married to your mother and having you. We got to find him a boyfriend before it's too late.
Why don't you put a personal ad on the Internet? That's how young people date these days.
It's weird that you don't consider yourself a young person.
I know. It's weird to me too.
I don't ride side-saddle. I'm as straight as a submarine.
Hello, Smithers. Fancy seeing you in casual encounter park.
Oh, my gay dad is gay for gays.
Writing is for bathroom walls and acting is for getting out of DUIs.
S24Black Eyed, Please
You may never see a film in 3D again. [chuckles]
But the storytelling is finally catching up to the technology.
Why does someone become a bully?
Neglect.
Abuse.
I'm a Cubs fan.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.