[After getting shot in manhunt, Apu is reincarnated into a rabbit]
AApu
Ha, ha! You can't kill a Hindu!
[Hops away, and then gets his tail caught in a bear trap.]
AApu
AGH! Help me, Jesus!
S17Treehouse of Horror XVI
S17Marge's Son Poisoning
[to Bart] The last thing I want is for you to turn into that! [Points to Principal Skinner]
[Looks behind him] What? The wall?
[Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney stand outside the Simpsons' house and sing My Sharona]
JDJimbo/Dolph/Kearney
[singing] Ooh, my little pretty one, my pretty one. When you gonna give me some time, Sharona. Ooh, you make my motor run, my motor run. Got it comin' off of the line, Sharona. Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind. I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind. My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
[A trophy is thrown through the window at the bullies.]
[offscreen] That song is a pop music footnote. [pause] I didn't say stop.
JDJimbo/Dolph/Kearney
[singing] M-m-m-my Sharona!
S17See Homer Run
Who the hell are you?
QSQuimby's Nephew
Your press secretary.
I knew I should have hired my nephew!
QSQuimby's Nephew
I am your nephew.
Okay, so I stink! Tough Toblerone! Read the charter people! I can't be removed from office... except by a simple recall election... please disregard that last part!
I will run for mayor!
And I'll be your campaign manager!
And I'll find out what a Mayor does! [Gets some Beer] Expand my brain, learning juice!
Marge, without this outfit I'm just Homer Simpson, multiple felon. With it I'm a costumed hero like George Washington, or Dame Edna!
S17The Last of the Red Hat Mamas
AAnnouncer
And now, we return to the Vic Tayback Hotel & Casino in Downtown Las Vegas for Has-Been Celebrity Poker.
HHost
As always, all our celebrities are playing for charity.
What?! I am so out of here!
My husband has forgot our last three anniversaries, he made a badminton net out of my wedding dress, which he never uses, and last week, he called out his bowling ball's name during sex!!!
Wait a minute, if she's going bird watching then why did she leave her Peterson's Guide to Bird Watching? [Looks inside] [gasps] Road Runners are real?
Sometimes it's easier to be cruel than to say what we really feel
S17The Italian Bob
[to Cletus] You are the most wonderful husband - and son - I ever had.
[Upon hearing that Sideshow Bob has a wife and son] Holy moly! I always thought you were, you know, out loud and proud.
Well, I experimented in college, as one does.
Yeah, I never went to college.
[sarcastic] Stop the presses.
[looking in an Italian-to-English dictionary] vendetta means... vendetta!
[All the Simpsons scream]
S17Simpsons Christmas Stories
HAHomer as Joseph
A pregnant virgin? That's every man's worst nightmare!
CLCaligatus Lou
Gee, chief, I feel pretty bad trying to take out a baby.
CWCenturion Wiggum
Ah, don't worry, boys. No one will ever speak or write of this again.
[we then see Matthew, with a scroll entitled "The Gospel According to Matthew"]
MMatthew
[begins writing] What a boffo beginning for my book!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.