Oh My God, I killed the Mayor! Alright, stay calm. I'll just use the body to stage an elaborate farce a la Weekend At Bernie's.
S10Mayored to the Mob
If I was Fat Tony, and God willing someday I will be, I'd just be stewing in my jail cell getting madder and madder.
I don't have to worry about that, he's already out on bail. Well, I'm off to work.
You're guarding the mayor tonight, after Fat Tony swore revenge?
It's my duty, Marge. Besides, those mobsters don't scare me. Bart, will you start daddy's car?
Homer!
What? There's nothing to worry about.
Well, then you start it.
Alright, fine, I'll take a cab.
[As Homer fights for his life against one of Fat Tony's men]
MHMark Hamill
Homer, use the-!
The Force?
MHMark Hamill
The forks! Use the forks!
[Homer attending a Leavelle's body guard school]
LLeavelle
Your loyalty is to your protectee. Not to you country. Not to your family. [turns to Homer] Not even to Moo-Hammid.
Even during Ramadan?
LLeavelle
Shut your sass-hole boy.
Milking rats! THEY'RE MILKING RATS!
[to Fat Tony] Rats?! I am outraged! You promised me dog or higher!
S10Viva Ned Flanders
Alright here comes the implosion!
DWDemolition Worker
[Pushes the plunger down] Implosion? I thought you said...
[The Monty Burns Casino blows up in a cloud of dust with a variety of things, as well as Don Rickles, flying out into the air]
HOCKEY PUUUUUCK!
[as they all run from the dust] Heh, heh! Don Rickles zinged ya, Marge!
[After running over someone in the dust cloud]
Dad, you hit Don Rickles!
I'm okay, but some Puerto Rican guy's trying to steal your hubcaps. [laughs] Just kidding! I'm a nice guy.
Slave girl! Oh, slave girl!
WWaitress
More libations, my imperial conqueror?
What was that?
OWOther Waitress
More booze. You want more booze?
Goshdarn it! Am I that pre-diddly-ictable? [sighs] I've wasted my whole dang-diddly life!
[a car stops besides Ned with Abe, Jasper and three attractive women]
Hey there!
Look at that! Everyone's living it up except Ned. [car pulls away out of earshot]
Help! We're being carjacked!
WWoman
Don't get clever, old man. [cocks a revolver] Now take us to Dress Barn.
So what about all this meat?
Ah, the missus will clean that up.
Now it's Marge's time to shine!
GDr. Gonzo
That sure was a fun trip to Las Vegas.
RDRaoul Duke
Auh, too many kids.
CWCasino worker
Someone dishonoring their marriage vows!? Not in Las Vegas.
[While Homer and Ned try to flee]
[screams] The Moody Blues!
GEGraeme Edge
"Cold hearted Homer ditching his wife, while ancient Ned runs for his life"
JHJustin Hayward
"Chips of blue, and red, and white, but we decide..."
JLJohn Lodge
Oh can the poems, it's arse-whooping time!
RTRay Thomas
[draws a switchblade] I want fatty! [Homer screams]
S10Wild Barts Can't Be Broken
Stupid Isotopes. Hurry up and lose so we can get outta here!
Why do you hate the Isotopes so much, Dad?
Because I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you, sweetie. Never love anything.
Even you?
Especially me.
But you gotta support the team, Dad! They're already threatening to move to Moose Jaw.
That's right! Like my mother always said, you've got to stick it out, even if you picked the loser ... [sees Homer picking at his ear and looking at his finger afterward] ...to the bitter end.
CCommentator
[about Babe Ruth IV] He's pointing to the stands, possibly at a dying little boy.
[to Marge, after realizing he's been pointed at] Mom, am I dying?!
[sympathetically] No.
[whispering] Is he, Mom? You can tell me.
No!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.