Mmmm...pepper spray.
S35It's a Blunderful Life
S35Ae Bonny Romance
Oh, my head. Homie, what do you take for a hangover? Huh? [Homer is running away] Oh fine, be that way.
For once, I'm the one who spoke truth while drunk.
Oh, oh. Running away from a fight?
Well, I'm still mad at you!
Well, I'm still mad at you!
You told everyone that I don't care about romance, and now they think Homer Simpson is vanilla in the sack!
["Homer Simpson is vanilla in the sack!" echoes, followed by "vanilla in the sack!" echoing three times]
Ah, you broke my sniffer. You do love me.
S35Murder, She Boat
[singing] I'm getting the mail, hallelujah, I'm getting the mail. It's something to do. [stops singing] Hmm. What the Helen Mirren?
Stimulus checks? We were supposed to catch these during the pandemic. Should we spend the money now or wait for the next one?
So what are we gonna blow it on, jet ski or motorbike? Vroom, vroom, vroom!
[to Marge] Mom, there is something I've always wanted for this family, but it's not a thing, exactly.
Vroom?
...but rather, it's an experience. Something we can all treasure and talk about for years to come.
Wow. Well, then maybe we should do it.
[to Marge] Wait, that's the move? Go all sincere and emo? Gross.
[Bart walks away from the kitchen]
There is one small issue. My idea will take finessing with Dad.
Hmm.
S35Do the Wrong Thing
Students, look to your right, look to your left. These are the people you'll be cheating off of.
S35Frinkenstein's Monster
Me, too.
I use mine as corn holders.
Marge, baby, when I get this job, we're gonna be rich. Rich.
All right, Simpson, this is the 691st time you've left us for another job.
Yeah, well, I have a good feeling about this time.
So, we finally said what the hell, we have a form for everything else around here, so why not this?
S35Lisa Gets an F1
CCCrazy Cat Lady
[the dogs barking] Monster. Monsters all. Ow!
So he's afraid of germs on toilet seats.
AAnnette
No, he's afraid of rotisserie chicken. Lisa, if we can use this exposures treatment to get you comfortable in cars, that might help you overcome your other anxieties.
Okay, I'll do whatever it takes.
AAnnette
Well, I must warn you, it won't be fun.
Time for your bedtime sweet dream routine. [Lisa climbs into bed, and Homer switches the light off] Here's your night-terror teddies... [He dumps all the teddies on Lisa] And I'll set the night-light to "boogeyman banisher." [He squats down and turns Lisa's moon night-light on]
[As he wakes up from the Mario Kart nightmare After He (As Wario) knocks Lisa (as Mario) Off the Rainbow Road with a bomb.] It's-a me, Wario! It's all my fault! Wah!
Okay, missing a wheel, no brakes, still in control. Okay, now I'm not in control, but still calm. Wow, I have a great therapist.
AAnnette
She's gonna die!
S35Night of the Living Wage
I am so sorry. You can sell my Malibu Stacy Dream House. It's increased in value. I just redid the kitchen.
Relax. We're not gonna sell your toys. The sax is where the real money is.
Homer.
What? My upper-lower, middle-lower, lower-class income isn't gonna get us out of this.
Hmm. In order to save this family, I'm gonna have to do something I've never done before, get a job.
Oh, you've had tons of jobs: cop, realtor, gym owner, erotic baker, weed sommelier.
S35The Tipping Point
Dad, where's my bike?
How would I know? I don't know. You probably lost it.
Dad!
I tipped it! I gave it to my barber because he cleaned up my eyebrows. [Crying hugs Bart] I'm so sorry, Bart! I'm so sorry.
MMoe
Exact change? Huh. That's it?
Oh, I really want to tip you, Moe, but I promised my wife I'd quit.
MMoe
Here's a thought, Homer. Uh, what if you took the moolah out of your pocket, but you just stop before anything happened. You know, uh, everything but the tip.
That doesn't seem like it could lead to anything.
MMoe
Sure it couldn't.
[takes his wallet out of his pocket, giving Moe a $10] We shouldn't have done that.
MMoe
Does that mean that you want to stop?
[giving Moe a another $10, moans] No. It feels so good. [giving Moe a another $10]
MMoe
Don't stop, you generous man. Oh, yeah, give it to me, big boy.
You like that?
MMoe
Oh, that's the spot.
I can do this all night.
MMoe
Right there.
Tell me you want it.
MMoe
Oh, God!
Yes!
MMoe
Oh, God!
Yes!
MMoe
Oh, God!
Yes! [cash flies into a Moe in his face]
MMoe
Oh, God!
I need a new bar.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.