MMoe
[narrating] F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote: "There are no second acts in American lives." But he never said anything about second parts in American TV shows.
S28The Great Phatsby, Part 2
S28The Cad and the Hat
Who the hell are you?
BSBart's Guilt
I'm your guilt.
I don't have any guilt.
BSBart's Guilt
You do now.
BSBart's Denial
Don't worry, Bart. I'll protect you. I'm Denial.
[Bart's Guilt kills Bart's Denial and throws him out the window]
Ay, caramba!
S2822 for 30
Okay, here's a shot: you're not bald, your hair left out of embarrassment.
[turns red in anger] Why, you little.... [he grabs Bart's neck with a towel to strangle him, Bart throws his basketball into the hoop] I'll teach you to win the game! [angrily strangles Bart] You stupid buzzer-beating, clutch-shooting ice water in your veins here comes the post-game interview! You have to give them credit they played hard!
Oh, come on, man. I'm taking my talents to Shelbyville. This is the first thing you've done as a coach. People are gonna hear about this, Dad.
I'm so proud of these boys, and especially our sixth man and knights.
You're still nicer than Bobby Knight.
[stops strangling Bart, turns his face normal] All right, let me hear your side.
S28A Father's Watch
I had a nightmare where that happened to Bart, but I never told you about it.
Wait a minute?
D’oh?
Oh, Bart, look what brought you got now for later.
S28Caper Chase
[Mr. Burns is aghast at the rampant political correctness at Yale University]
This was the home of ruthless media disruptor Samuel F. B. Morse! Who's his successor? That fellow? [gestures towards a student]
YSYale Student
"Fellow"! That term is cisgender normative, okay?! You're worse than Hitler!
Too late for flattery. I'm not giving this school a dime.
S28Looking for Mr. Goodbart
A Skunk-a-san! [Homer tries to throw Pokeballs at the skunk but it does not work] Why can't I capture you? [moves myPhone away, revealing a real skunk] Aah! It's real! [skunk sprays Homer] D'oh! [starts to lose consciousness then drops. cut to garage where Homer is in a tomato sauce bath]
Sprayed by a skunk. dad, that game is too dangerous.
S28Dogtown
GGPS
Turn left.
You're the driver.
Okay, kids. Give me your best worried looks. Ooh, that's good worried. Maggie, when we visit Gil, you should think about your mom and me disappearing forever, every time we step behind a wall.
Mr. Gunderson, they don't let saxophones in the ICU, so I'll just tell you the song I wrote for you. B flat, C, D flat, B flat, B, Long E ...
ASAdolphe Sax
"Adolf", a name that will only be associated with beautiful music.
S29The Serfsons
[Marge cooks food for her family]
Aw, water soup again?
[Marge knocks out a three eyed crow and adds it to the soup]
Now, it's crow soup.
Ooh, I call an eye!
Me too!
Me three!
And Maggie gets the break.
[Marge plucks the beak out and gives it to Maggie]
Aaaeeey! Uh-Ah!
[Maggie uses the beak as a passy and sucks on it]
Lousy nobles. We serfs are starving, while they're feasting and jousting and posing for tapestries, where they're friends with a unicorn. As if any unicorn would like them. Unicorns like nice people. I'm a nice person.
[Homer pokes his father's spider web, looking for his mother-in-law's]
Son, is that you?
No.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.