TV show quotes
Lisa, like Captain Kirk I'm not supposed to interfere but like T.J. Hooker I say what is on my mind. If you don't know the answer, just guess.
This test penalizes guessing.
It does? Alright NOBODY GUESS! Just be right! Get down on your knees, pray to your God, and ask him, no, DEMAND he tell you the answer and if he won't, he is no God of yours!
[after the women in book club are dying] Oh my God, Oh my God, we're totally liable! [notices the only woman you have left and began canoodling and making out]
Ohhhhh...yes. [but realizes the dream was so gross and unreliable] I mean... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! [camera zooms back out to see if Marge and the women in book club are safe]
This is so hard because I always thought Mom was the strong one.
She is. Look.
[Homer is crying as he is about to hang himself on a tree.]
Goodbye.
[He hangs himself, only for the tree to crash on his car.]
[getting up] D'oh!
How about a family outing?
Family outing? I'll start. Lisa's gay!
Hooray for stupid Flanders!
There'll be another one in Yemen in 2027.
Now Maggie, I'll be watching you too, in case God is busy creating tornadoes or not existing.
C'mon lady, have a heart! I'm sure your husband does stupid things sometimes too.
[indignantly] I'm married to Jesus!
Pssh, yeah right. And I'm married to Wonder Woman!
Don't eat so fast! [talking to his hand that's pretending to be Maggie]
No! Me so hungry!
[to Lisa] You must wear your gown with modesty, not like Sister Marilyn.
[In a nun's gown, standing over a wind thing, mimicking the famous photograph.] Oooh!
Are you a bit of a Doubting Thomas?
More of a Curious George.
Well, little monkey, you should spend some time with the man in the yellow hat.
[Cut to Lisa in front of a picture of Jesus with a halo that looks like a hat.]
Step a side ladies, I'm bringing the peace.
So, it's a Smokeasy you're running, then?
[Homer and Grampa try to run]
So, it's escaping you're thinking of, then?
I can't tell if those are questions or statements.
So, it's our syntax you're criticizing, then?
So in summary, there are only two real commandments and the other eight are just filler.
[Trying on a tuxedo.]
This one's a little gay, isn't it?
Well the last time I checked, pirates weren't gay.
Ew. How'd you check?
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