PRPowersauce Representative
Mr. Wolfcastle we have the perfect idea for a Powersauce commercial. You--
I love it.
S9King of the Hill
[Homer jogs into town. He sees a sign for an All Night Gym]
Gym? [mispronounces it as "gime"] What's a gym?
[He walks inside, sees workout equipment]
Oh... a gym!
S1Sherpa 1
{in native language} I foresaw your death last night.
S2Sherpa 2
{in native language} Stop saying that.
BBrad
Wake up, Homer! Those bars are just junk. They're made of apple cores and Chinese newspapers.
[examines a bar] Hey, Deng Xiaoping died.
S9Lost Our Lisa
[finds out Bart glued everything] Bart, did you glue those on?
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
BDBus Driver
Last stop. End of the line.
I know I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please, save me, Superman!
Stupid risks are what make life worth living.
[as Homer and Lisa are breaking into the Springfield Museum]
Could you open the window? The police have Daddy's prints on file.
[Lisa finds herself in an ethnic part of Springfield]
[to herself] Huh, I didn't know Springfield had a Russian district. [comes across two men playing chess] Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the museum?
M1Man 1
[angrily] С удовольствием! Это шесть кварталов в этом направлении! [My pleasure. The museum is six blocks that way.]
[Lisa runs off screaming]
M1Man 1
[calmly] Hey, она пошла не в ту сторону. [Hey, she went the wrong way.]
M2Man 2
[makes his move] Shah i mat. [Checkmate.]
M1Man 1
[throws the board on the ground] Хорошая игра! Как насчет еще одной?! [Good game. How about another?]
[sighs in relief] Ah, it's springtime. [sees the geese] So, the geese must be flying back North. [sees another set of geese flying East] Hey!
Are you sure you don't want to go to the doctor? I mean, a drawbridge did close on your head.
Nah, I'll just walk it off.
[Bart is apologizing to Lisa behind the door, not knowing she's not in her room)
Hey Lis, I'm sorry I ruined your Egyptian thing. We're still buds, right? Okay be that way, be a big stupid jerk. Oh, you're not the jerk...I am...forgive me? Oh, like you're Miss Perfect. Mom, Lisa's making me feel bad!
Stop it, Lisa!
That shut her up.
Shouldn't you be at work right now?
Uh yes sir, Mr. Burns, sir.
Well then, get back to wherever it is you work, whoever you are.
Maybe, but you don't know Lisa, I mean she's so smart they hooked her up to a big computer to try to teach it some things, but she had so much knowledge, it overloaded, and then it got really hot and caught on fire!
That never, uh, happened, did it, Homer?
Ah, yes, but now I have to leave on a totally unrelated matter. :[he starts to leave, then rushes out]: Oh, Lisa!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.