[finds out Bart glued everything] Bart, did you glue those on?
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
“Lost Our Lisa” · Season 9
In this episode: Homer Simpson (7), Bart Simpson (5), Lisa Simpson (5), Marge Simpson (3), Milhouse Van Houten (2), Principal Skinner (1), Carl Carlson (1), Barney Gumble (1)
BDBus Driver
Last stop. End of the line.
I know I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please, save me, Superman!
Stupid risks are what make life worth living.
[as Homer and Lisa are breaking into the Springfield Museum]
Could you open the window? The police have Daddy's prints on file.
[Lisa finds herself in an ethnic part of Springfield]
[to herself] Huh, I didn't know Springfield had a Russian district. [comes across two men playing chess] Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the museum?
M1Man 1
[angrily] С удовольствием! Это шесть кварталов в этом направлении! [My pleasure. The museum is six blocks that way.]
[Lisa runs off screaming]
M1Man 1
[calmly] Hey, она пошла не в ту сторону. [Hey, she went the wrong way.]
M2Man 2
[makes his move] Shah i mat. [Checkmate.]
M1Man 1
[throws the board on the ground] Хорошая игра! Как насчет еще одной?! [Good game. How about another?]
[sighs in relief] Ah, it's springtime. [sees the geese] So, the geese must be flying back North. [sees another set of geese flying East] Hey!
Are you sure you don't want to go to the doctor? I mean, a drawbridge did close on your head.
Nah, I'll just walk it off.
[Bart is apologizing to Lisa behind the door, not knowing she's not in her room)
Hey Lis, I'm sorry I ruined your Egyptian thing. We're still buds, right? Okay be that way, be a big stupid jerk. Oh, you're not the jerk...I am...forgive me? Oh, like you're Miss Perfect. Mom, Lisa's making me feel bad!
Stop it, Lisa!
That shut her up.
Shouldn't you be at work right now?
Uh yes sir, Mr. Burns, sir.
Well then, get back to wherever it is you work, whoever you are.
Maybe, but you don't know Lisa, I mean she's so smart they hooked her up to a big computer to try to teach it some things, but she had so much knowledge, it overloaded, and then it got really hot and caught on fire!
That never, uh, happened, did it, Homer?
Ah, yes, but now I have to leave on a totally unrelated matter. :[he starts to leave, then rushes out]: Oh, Lisa!
Stupid bus can't even go to the stupid place it's supposed to stupid go... ;[spies a flattened raccoon]: Ugh!
I seen it first. :[scoops it into truck with shovel]: Ooh, Girly Sue's gonna have an elegant wedding feast.
Aha. Um, listen, I'm kind of lost. Do you think you can give me a lift downtown?
Cletus, what are you beating your gums about?
Never you mind, Brandine. You just go back to birthin' that baby. Yeah, I'll fetch you a ride, little missy, hop on in. Mind the skunk, them things can go off even after they's dead.
[Lisa retches and runs away]:
A bus? Alone? Absolutely not. It's just too dangerous for an 8-year-old. In a few years when you're old enough to drive, then you can take the bus.
Woah, looking sharp.
Well, thanks guv'nor.
[The novelties fall off Bart's face]
If you put dog doo on the suction cups, they'll stick better.
Milhouse, I'm not going to take dog doo that's been on the dirty ground and put it on my face. I have a better idea.
Hey Bart, what's your favorite thing about teachers conference day?
Hmm, well, I guess that we don't have to go to school.
Wow, mine too!
The world is completely different on a weekday morning. Banks are open, old people are walking the streets with impunity. And look, Barney's not even drunk yet.
Morning, boys, can't stop to chat, time is money.
Morning, Barney.
You know what makes it even sweeter? While we're out having fun and walking around like crazy, those teachers are cooped up in school like morons.
[Camera cuts to the teachers]
Hmm, here we go again.
[All the teachers are on a rollercoaster, having fun]
Skinner!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.