Apu has a rich life here in Springfield: a store full of great products, a lovely him-type wife, and eight super kids: Anoop, Sandeep, Nabendu, Gheet, Pria, Uma, Poonam, Sashi...
AApu
Shut your mouth! I want to do it!
S26Covercraft
You know what? Apu leaving is the best thing that ever happened to this band. We're gonna be like Genesis after Peter Gabriel left.
You mean more popular but not as good?
[angrily to Bart] Phil Collins-era Genesis is not as good, huh? "No Reply at All," "Land of Confusion," "Throwing it All Away," "Illegal Alien," "I Can't Dance," and I'm sure I don't need to mention "Invisible Touch"! Hmph! [angrily goes to the kitchen]
S26I Won't Be Home for Christmas
Thank you, magical creatures of the mall! You have all taught me a Christmas message I'll never forget. The place to get drunk is at home.
You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.
Yeah, but doesn't the money go to schools?
AApu
You have been to our schools, what do you think?
Yeah? Well, good luck assembling all those toys without me!
We already did it!
Ah! The ghost of Marge future!
Mom, where's Dad?
I don't know.
Aw, it's Christmas Eve, man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!
MMoe
Eh, how you doing there? Uh, your front door was locked, So, uh, rather than call or knock, I, uh, came down your chimbley there. [coughs]
Moe Szyslak, you didn't climb down our chimney just to say "Merry Christmas."
MMoe
[coughing] [clears throat] Midge, it's one minute till Christmas, and if I'm ever gonna be a good guy, it's now. All right, here I go. I'm the one that kept Homer from coming home, 'cause, uh, well, I was lonely. [Marge gasps] Yeah, that's right-- me, Mr. Party Pants. So, uh, so don't hold it against Homer, eh?
Oh, my poor Homie. This is what I was hoping for. For it not to have been completely his fault. Thank you, Moe. [mumbling]: Huh?
MMoe
I'm sorry, Marge, I'm sorry, but it was Christmas, and we were under the mistletoe.
S26The Man Who Came to Be Dinner
Well, I guess we've learned that of all the countless planets in the universe, we have evolved into the most inedible species. Like three bean salad at a barbecue, we will remain untouched.
[angrily shouting at Bart] Stupid kid, you ruin every trip!
Homer, you have to stop dropping your pants for everyone who claims they're a doctor.
Fine.
Wow, this place is completely alien, but everything's in English, just like Canada!
Look at all these knobs and buttons. They're clearly a superior race. Maybe that means they'll be nice to us.
You mean like Europeans were to the Native Americans or the Belgians were to The Congo?
That's right, pick the only two times in history where things got messy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.