Thank you, magical creatures of the mall! You have all taught me a Christmas message I'll never forget. The place to get drunk is at home.
“I Won't Be Home for Christmas” · Season 26
In this episode: Homer Simpson (4), Marge Simpson (3), Moe Szyslak (2), Bart Simpson (1), Lisa Simpson (1), Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (1), Patty (1)
You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.
Yeah, but doesn't the money go to schools?
AApu
You have been to our schools, what do you think?
Yeah? Well, good luck assembling all those toys without me!
We already did it!
Ah! The ghost of Marge future!
Mom, where's Dad?
I don't know.
Aw, it's Christmas Eve, man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!
MMoe
Eh, how you doing there? Uh, your front door was locked, So, uh, rather than call or knock, I, uh, came down your chimbley there. [coughs]
Moe Szyslak, you didn't climb down our chimney just to say "Merry Christmas."
MMoe
[coughing] [clears throat] Midge, it's one minute till Christmas, and if I'm ever gonna be a good guy, it's now. All right, here I go. I'm the one that kept Homer from coming home, 'cause, uh, well, I was lonely. [Marge gasps] Yeah, that's right-- me, Mr. Party Pants. So, uh, so don't hold it against Homer, eh?
Oh, my poor Homie. This is what I was hoping for. For it not to have been completely his fault. Thank you, Moe. [mumbling]: Huh?
MMoe
I'm sorry, Marge, I'm sorry, but it was Christmas, and we were under the mistletoe.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.