He's alive!
And he didn't pee on the floor.
For me, that's a perfect day.
S24To Cur with Love
I love that dog...but that is one long, stupid name.
That's right, your lord sticks his hand in his pants. And yes, it is the same hand I tapped you with.
S24Homer Goes to Prep School
Listen, I gotta know. You're not just being nice to me because, in a pinch, you could make candles from my fat.
LLloyd
Well, that is a big part of it.
It's okay. I know what I am.
Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt.
MMoe
Well, Homer's gone. Let's all go into our suspended state 'til he gets back.
If Jesus had a gun, He'd be alive today.
Marge, this is it. TEOTWAWKI.
The end of the world as we know it?!?
I guess despite all our so-called civilization, anarchy lurks around every corner like a racially diverse street gang on a network cop show.
Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail?
I don't know; feed it to the dog.
You'd have to wrap cheese around it.
Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog!
Fun Center Supervisor [on her cell phone]: I hate working here. At least at Krusty Burger, you can burn yourself and go home.
S24A Test Before Trying
Looks like Mr. Vanilla just grew some chocolate chips.
Save your analogies for the analogy portion of the exam.
So how's the studying going?
When I start, I'll tell you. [lies down on the bed]
[sensually obsolete] This is the most selfish thing you've ever done! You're letting your friends go hang because you are lazy, and selfish-- [Bart closes his eyes slowly] hey, are you falling asleep just to spite me?
Spinach Farm, huh? You talk in your sleep!
Lisa, I want to pass the test, but I need your help and I had all sorts of problems. Lack of attention, I'm afraid of ovals, I only know 24 letters-- (Lisa closes her eyes that Bart done earlier) don't you fall asleep on me!
Well, Bart. I hope you're happy. All my extra credits are like frequent flyer miles on a bankrupt airline.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.