A paper-based read-a-ma-jig? What are we, cavemen?
S24A Tree Grows in Springfield
I don't care for silent auctions. It just encourages hovering.
Free Tibet! You heard me, free him now!
"Hope"? Is this one of those coincidences, like Jesus on a tortilla or George Washington on a dollar bill?
S24The Day the Earth Stood Cool
TRT-Rex
T.V.? We don't own a T.V.
I didn't know that was an option.
No one judges my wife's thunder bags.
Wearing scarves in non-scarf weather is the essence of cool.
The kids are a mess. You brought them home exhausted and pretentious.
You're all bald.
No, I'm young person cool-bald. Not old person sad-bald.
TTerrence
You know there are now restaurants there with two locations. Not near my kids.
Beat it, ducks! I'm not old enough to have food for you. I'm sexy. Young and sexy!
S24To Cur with Love
I insist you never wear shoes or a proper necktie again. Just house slippers and the most humiliating tie there is - bolo.
HHerman
God closes a door, he opens a gunshot.
Well, that's just how dogs are. The most disloyal, unfaithful creatures God ever made.
Unfortunately, like all true stories, this one has a crappy ending.
You have a story with an ending.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.