[to the teen-abstinance group] If you defeat this madman, I'll release you from your pledge and teach you other fun ways not to get pregnant.
I think I might be pregnant already.
Well, that's one of them.
S25The Man Who Grew Too Much
[to Sideshow Bob at the dam] How dare you torture my children with Mozart!
S25The Winter of His Content
Simpson, I won't forget this. From now on, you and I are as tight as whiteys.
Well, you're gay for homophobia!
Wow, you just made me gay for tolerance.
Honey, Grandpa is the closet thing I have to a father and I love him, but three octogenocerauses?!?
My lifestyle is my retirement plan.
S25The War of Art
Emojis! Now she's gone too far.
Kettle corn, the heroin of the farmer's market.
That's the great thing about art, everyone can have their opinion about why it sucks.
S25You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee
So from now on, our cafeteria will only serve delicious Stuffwich's heroes, hoagies, and torpedoes.
What about po' boys?
Sorry, Nelson. Poor boys, such as yourself, will go hungry.
The only thing that keeps me from living here is that fish that swims up your pee stream. That is a deal breaker.
SSuperintendent
Skinner! I have seven other principals, and I've never yelled their names. Not even once.
Why are you concussing yourself? Why are you concussing yourself?
S25Luca$
A fat kid with a dream. I can't compete with that.
He's just Ralph with a dream, the dream of not ralphing.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.