Thinking is for losers!
S16She Used to Be My Girl
Be careful, Mom! There's hot lava under the ground!
Actually, when it's underground, lava is called magma!
You're so smart, Chloe!
Walter Cronkite told me the same thing.
Come on! You're out of the girl business!
Mom, I want to be like you. I mean the lava part, not saving Lisa.
[turns red in anger] Pretend to care! [angrily strangles Bart]
S16Fat Man and Little Boy
[Bart has written "Adults suck, then you are one" on his T-shirt]
Bart! Someone wrote something cynical on your shirt. Let me wash it off.
Leave me alone. This expresses my rage at the machine.
Well I like t-shirts with a nice joke, like "Support our troops".
Bart's shirt is a classic, Marge, just like "Keep on truckin" - as if I would ever want to stop truckin'.
Maybe the Internet can help me out. It sure gave some good advice on wang enhancement. Okay, www.nuclearsecrets.com. "Are you a terrorist?" No. "Would you like to meet someone new, but are tired of the bar scene?" No! I will never tire of the bar scene!
[Homer has created a working nuclear reactor]
Mom, Dad created a device that could be dangerous in the wrong hands. And HE'S holding it!
Get back in the garage, old man!
But there's spiders in the boxes!
Stay out of my boxes!
God, please give your daughter, the Tooth Fairy, the strength to carry my cash and the integrity not to dip her wand in the till.
There's more than one way to lose a tooth! [to Nelson] Hey, idiot! You're fat! And your mom is naked on the Internet! You also smell.
Hmm. You've given me a lot to think about.
Bart, if you don't get up now, good luck getting a pancake. Dad's pulled his chair right up to the stove.
We're big fans, Mr. Gladwell.
Yeah, nothing makes parents happier than when an eccentric, single man takes an interest in their child.
VVendor
Mr. Retailer, over here! Your customers will love these mood lollipops. Every lick reveals your mood.
AApu
[lick, lick] It works, if blue is the color for unimpressed.
You give my son what he deserves, or I will knock you on your delightfully offbeat ass!
GGGoose Gladwell
Ho-ho, I must warn you sir, I was a Green Beret in Vietnam. The things I saw are what made me CRAAAAAAZZZYYY!
S16Midnight Rx
[During the couch gag: the music is absent as the Simpsons sit on the couch as normal. Nothing happens. Lisa then looks at the camera]
What? Can't we sit on the couch without something happening?
[Just then, a spear comes hurtling at Homer and impales him in the chest. The family stares in shock]
D'oh!
[Homer and Grampa arrive at the border. Homer is dressed in Mexican clothing, including a sombrero]
[To border patrol] Hola señor! We are gringo and wish to spend mucho dinero in your country.
BPBorder Patrol
Splendid! Welcome to Canada!
D'oh!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.