The Simpsons Season 26 quotes

Bart

Thinking back, I'm kinda surprised Mom and Dad let a crazy man spend all night in my bedroom.

Homer

Simpler times.

Moleman

I didn't write it. I brought it from a salesman who was selling it to half the towns in America. I didn't think you'd find out because I never thought any of us would go anywhere.

Those smart cars are cutting into our business. We used to get uber amounts of work giving people lifts.

Mr. Burns

They say you catch more flies with honey, I say with fly traps.

The only reason you haven't been fired is because your file here has been holding up a sofa that was missing a leg.

Homer

Look, Moe. The least you can let me do is anything I want.

You guys cost me my chance with a woman of certain age!

I'm broke. Now I am going to have to live on my savings here. [Opens cash register] ALL RIGHT WHO RUBBED MY NICKELS?!!?

Princess Kemi

So, all these concubines belong to this one tyrant?

Homer

It's called The Bachelor.

Princess Kemi

I think he is a sweet, sweet man, but when I kissed him, it was not romantic, more like when Snow White kissed Dopey.

No, no, not this comparison again!

Do you mind riding a cute little scooter with your arms around my waist?

Princess Kemi

I don't.

To the scooter store!

Homer

She's gone!

And she trashed my bar! Oh no, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.

Homer

Sorry, Marge, but I am the royal babysitter. If I start watching commoners, the tongues of the court will be a wag.

Reverend Lovejoy

Relax, Marge. If God lets the Jews have Sunday on a Saturday, he'll be cool with this.

Homer

But it's not on the calendar? Okay, but if I'm sleepy at work tomorrow, I get to tell everyone why.