I want his fame and fortune so much. Why must the lords of rock be so cruel?
S26Covercraft
Oh, what kind of erotic asphyxia?
Yep, it's all about the music and it would take a pretty unforeseen circumstance to make that change. Pretty unforeseen.
This is embarrassing to admit, but I haven't even thought about gels.
I don't have what it takes to play the guitar.
Oh no, King Toots is closed. Dad, you're going to have to take me to the big Fox music store.
MMoe
You call that a left testicle, Toot?
Apu has a rich life here in Springfield: a store full of great products, a lovely him-type wife, and eight super kids: Anoop, Sandeep, Nabendu, Gheet, Pria, Uma, Poonam, Sashi...
AApu
Shut your mouth! I want to do it!
You know what? Apu leaving is the best thing that ever happened to this band. We're gonna be like Genesis after Peter Gabriel left.
You mean more popular but not as good?
[angrily to Bart] Phil Collins-era Genesis is not as good, huh? "No Reply at All," "Land of Confusion," "Throwing it All Away," "Illegal Alien," "I Can't Dance," and I'm sure I don't need to mention "Invisible Touch"! Hmph! [angrily goes to the kitchen]
S26I Won't Be Home for Christmas
Thank you, magical creatures of the mall! You have all taught me a Christmas message I'll never forget. The place to get drunk is at home.
You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.
Yeah, but doesn't the money go to schools?
AApu
You have been to our schools, what do you think?
Yeah? Well, good luck assembling all those toys without me!
We already did it!
Ah! The ghost of Marge future!
Mom, where's Dad?
I don't know.
Aw, it's Christmas Eve, man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!
MMoe
Eh, how you doing there? Uh, your front door was locked, So, uh, rather than call or knock, I, uh, came down your chimbley there. [coughs]
Moe Szyslak, you didn't climb down our chimney just to say "Merry Christmas."
MMoe
[coughing] [clears throat] Midge, it's one minute till Christmas, and if I'm ever gonna be a good guy, it's now. All right, here I go. I'm the one that kept Homer from coming home, 'cause, uh, well, I was lonely. [Marge gasps] Yeah, that's right-- me, Mr. Party Pants. So, uh, so don't hold it against Homer, eh?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.