The Sopranos quotes

Waste management consultant.

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Livia Soprano

Well, all I know is, daughters are better at taking care of their mothers than sons.

Yeah, and I bought CDs for a broken record.

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Dr. Jennifer Melfi

With today's pharmacology, no one needs to suffer with feelings of exhaustion and depression.

Here we go. Here comes the Prozac.

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Louis Brazzi sleeps with the fishes.

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

Luca Brasi. Luca...

Whatever.

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Uncle Junior

(to Tony) You may run North Jersey but you don't run your Uncle Junior. How many fucking hours did I spend playing catch with you?

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AAJ

She's not coming. Grandma just called. She started crying and hung up.

She needs a purpose in life.

Carmela

Your mother is tougher than you think.

AAJ

So what? No fuckin' ziti now?

EEverybody

Hey!

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Brendan Filone: So my boy at Comley...said there's a truckload of Italian suits.

Those unload fast. Mario'll take the whole load.

He said shipment moves Thursday, six a.m.

Give me one good reason I should not jack this truck!

Hey, don't feel bad, its Junior's own fault. He gives us no choice except to do it again.

Takin' that outrageous fuckin' tribute?

It's like not only does he shit on our heads, we're supposed to say thanks for the hat.

It's not like I'm gettin' somewhere's playin' by the rules! Fuck Tony!

The books are closed...blow me.

No, that's some true shit.

Come on, they're not confirmin' any new made guys, how come?

Fuckin' chaos! Nobody knows whose runnin' things anymore. Guys, they don't even know who to make payments up the ladder to in some cases. I'm talkin' about the year two thousand. The millenium. Where do we go from here?

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Yo, money, we said we'd meet out front. You're not even dressed.

I'm taking a pass.

What? It's Italian suits, Christopher!

There was a time in my life when being with the Tony Soprano crew was all I ever dreamed of. So what am I doing?

Come on, it's five fifteen.

Maybe one reason things are so fucked up in the organization these days is guys running off, not listening to middle management.

Fuck Tony. That's a quote.

We have to stick together, why be in a crew? Why be a gangster?

Hey coach? Suck my dick.

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SKSpecial K

(A Comley truck approaches) Yo! Hey, yo! We need some help over here!

(Brendan Filone, Antjuan, and Special K hijack the truck) Okay, lets be very cool yo! Get down outta the cab!

SKSpecial K

You heard the motherfucker! Hurry up!

Hector Anthony: (Stepping out) Yo chill. I'm a friend of Billy's. Your friend on the inside.

Ya, cool. No probs here! Increase the peace, that's our motto.

HAHector Anthony

I'm gonna take my lunch, okay?

Yeah, whatever. Come on! (Hector steps down and Antjuan tries to climb the truck)

SKSpecial K

Hold up man! You can't drive a Fisher Price. (Special K climbs the truck)

(Antjuan is holding his gun sideways) What is with the gun-point-sideways-shit! (Brendan fixes Antjuan's arm)

AAntjuan

(Special K isn't able to drive the truck) Ha ha ha ha!

(to Special K) Get out! Come on, get down! (to Hector Anthony) You drive, I'll direct you! (Special K steps out and accidentally drops his gun, releasing a ricochet bullet that hits Hector Anthony)

Oh! Jesus!

AAntjuan

Control yer shit fool! (Once they see Hector is dead, Special K and Antjuan run away)

Fuck. Oh fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, Junior fuckin' Soprano's gonna go ape shit! Fuck!

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You boys...you boys...I'll tell ya...it's beautiful stuff though. (about Italian suits they were left with after Brendan hijacked a Comley truck)

Ton', I'm so sorry-

Shut up!

Just so long as you realize I had nothin' ta do with this Ton'.

Ton', that's true, he stood home-

Shut up! You stood home? Did you do anything ta stop it? Did you offer any guidance? What do we mean when we say leadership, hm?

Ton', part of it's the crank, you know, but I'm goin' into the detox, swear to my mother.

Brendan, shut the fuck up. You wanna get me clipped?

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You know, you got a reputation for immaturity, and its not gonna be improved by not paying the tributes the acting boss demands of you.

Acting boss my ass Ton'. Come on, everybody knows you really run things since Jackie became the Chemosabe.

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Hey, mikey, how's the boy?

What boy is that, ton'?

The one you sleep with.

Ohh.

I was just kiddin' ya. How you doin'?

I'm all right.

How's my uncle treatin' ya?

We're coverin' our nut. Hey, your nephew, what's he,retarded? He likes to play with trucks or somethin'?

"Retarded"? What if jerry lewis heard you talkin' like that?

Oh, that's muscular dystrophy, ton'

It's too bad they don't have a telethon for fuckface- it is, huh? They found a cure yet? Come on. I was just kidding you. Come on. You're a good sport. Come on.

All right

You all right? You all right?

Yeah. I'm all right.

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Paulie Walnuts

Fuckin' italian people. How did we miss out on this?

Pussy Bonpensiero

What?

Paulie Walnuts

Fuckin' expresso, cappuccino.We invented this shit, and all these other cocksuckers are gettin' rich off it.

Pussy Bonpensiero

Yeah. Isn't it amazing?

Paulie Walnuts

It's not just the money. It's a pride thing. All our food. Pizza. Calzone. Buffalo mozzarella. Olive oil. These fucks had nothin'. They ate poopsie before we gave'em the gift of our cuisine. But this, this is the worst, this "expresso" shit.

Pussy Bonpensiero

Take it easy.

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Un-fuckin'-believable. We just returned maybe the biggest score of my whole year.