Livia Soprano quotes from The Sopranos

Livia Soprano

He goes to talk about his mother. That's what he's doing. He talks about me, he complains. 'She didn't do this, she did that.' Oh, I gave my life to my children on a silver platter, and this is how he repays me.

Livia Soprano

Well, all I know is, daughters are better at taking care of their mothers than sons.

Tony Soprano

Yeah, and I bought CDs for a broken record.

How come he's not in school?

Livia Soprano

Because he was a bad boy.

Hey grandma how come yous not supposed to breathe in a cemetery?

Livia Soprano

Who says?

It's a joke for chrissakes...say why.

'Cuz you'll make the dead people jealous.

Larry Boy Barese

Hey mama Livia, how are you? Do you remember me, Larry Boy Barese.

Livia Soprano

I know who you are. You lit an apartment house on fire and scared your mother half to death.

Larry Boy Barese

Momma's movin' in here on the 15th.

Livia Soprano

Oo, I like your shoes Larry Boy.

Larry Boy Barese

Eh, Momma hasn't been well in the mind. Last week she threw a jar of artichokes at me.

Livia Soprano

Well, she better not throw any artichokes at me.

Livia Soprano

I know your father forbids your comin' down here.

He doesn't. Honest. He just doesn't want us ta talk about you in the house.

Livia Soprano

Well, you can go shit in his hat.

Janice Soprano

(In middle of sex with Richie, while Richie holds a gun to her head) Oh, Richie baby you're the best. You're the best one. Oh baby. Oh, you're the best one ever. Oh..ah..ahh..oh baby you're the best. Oh baby you're the best. Oh, Richie. Oh, Richie!! Oh baby you're the boss. Oh, you're the boss. Oh, you're the boss. Oh baby! Oh, you're the best. Ah..ah! It should be you. Ah! It should be you. What? What?

Richie Aprile

Fuck that come from? It should be you? What are you tryin' to say Janice?

Janice Soprano

What?!

Richie Aprile

Don't what me! Why'd you say that?

Janice Soprano

I was making love to you baby!

Richie Aprile

You know what you said.

Janice Soprano

I was in the heat of passion, I'm doin' it like you like.

Richie Aprile

"Boss" this. "Boss" that. It Should be you! That's not part of it. How can you think of shit like that during sex? You're not in the moment.

Janice Soprano

I find powerful men erotic.

Richie Aprile

Is that another dig in me?

Janice Soprano

Oh, Jesus, Richie.

Richie Aprile

I got to be loyal. Without that, we crumble.

Janice Soprano

Tell that to Paul Castellano.

Richie Aprile

I'm old school, Janice.

Janice Soprano

All I mean is my brother needs help.

Richie Aprile

Teaching him manners is one thing.

Janice Soprano

My Uncle Junior still has friends and Junior thinks the world of you. When your opponent gives you an opening, be swift as a hare.

Richie Aprile

When I think of that jacket I gave your brother and he spit on it. I could slice an ear off his head.

Janice Soprano

Richie wait, wha-- ma, (Livia comes down the stairs) if you need something, call, I'll bring it up.

Livia Soprano

Are you smoking marijuana? I want to watch the tv.

Janice Soprano

Well, we should get another one for your room.

Livia Soprano

Listen to her. Like Rose Kennedy with all our money to throw around.