(on phone) Mrs. Marianucci Gaultieri?
Nucci Gaultieri: (on phone) Yes?
Hi, this is Detective Mike Hunt, Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania police department. You have a son Peter Paul?
NGNucci Gaultieri
Oh, my God! What happened?
He's alright, ma'am, but I'm afraid he's in a little trouble. We found him in a public men's room in Lafayette Park. I don't know how to put this delicately...he was sucking a cub scout's dick.
NGNucci Gaultieri
What? No, it's a mistake.
Ma'am, I wish that was all, uh, but I'm afraid we had to have emergency surgery performed upon arrival at headquarters, after discovery of a small rodent in the rectal passage.
NGNucci Gaultieri
OH, MY GOD!
A gerbil, ma'am. Uh, the county does not cover medical procedures deemed caused by criminal sexual activity. Section four, paragraph fifteen. We'll need an insurance number.
NGNucci Gaultieri
Oh, Madonn'! I have Blue Cross, Blue Shield. Is that all right?
Ma...Ma'am, c-could you hold on for one second, I have the hospital on the other line. (Ralph hangs up and laughs)
NGNucci Gaultieri
Paulie! I won forty dollars at Keno. (Paulie grabs her) Ow!
Is there somethin' you wanna tell me about?
I just saw Aunt Dottie, and guess what? Turns out she's not my aunt. Turns out she's my mother.
NGNucci Gaultieri
No, that's not true.
Don't bullshit me. You been bullshitting me my entire life!
NGNucci Gaultieri
Paulie!
It's true, isn't it? Isn't it? Son of a bitch!
NGNucci Gaultieri
Oh how I dreaded this day.
I gave you everything! I gave you a son's love, all under false pretenses.
You're a fraud and a phony! And she's even worse. She's a whore. My mother's a fuckin' whore!
NGNucci Gaultieri
Don't say that! She was a young girl. She wanted to be a nun, but she got in trouble.
And you helped her out, cooked up this little scheme. Forget who gets victimized!
NGNucci Gaultieri
I loved you. I always loved you. Paulie! (Paulie leaves)
NGNucci Gualtieri
Is it true what they're saying?
NGNucci Gualtieri
The ride, the one that broke. You need to make a novena, Paulie. Those poor children.
What are you talkin' about?
NGNucci Gualtieri
You let Saint Elzear go without his hat.
Will you listen ta this? Fuck that voodoo, huh?
NGNucci Gualtieri
You cursed your mother, a blessed nun.
She had it comin'. Ya both did.
NGNucci Gualtieri
I didn't bring you up like that.
You're a fake. That's how you brung me up. Fuck the two o' yous.
The Sopranos · 454 quotes
