Silvio Dante quotes from The Sopranos

Silvio Dante

She's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Christopher Moltisanti

This ain't negotiation time. This is Scarface, final scene, fuckin' bazookas under each arm, 'say hello to my little friend!'

Silvio Dante

Always with the scenarios.

Paulie Walnuts

Hey, I remember every blowjob I ever got. How 'bout you, you remember your first blowjob?

Silvio Dante

Yeah, of course.

Paulie Walnuts

How long did it take for the guy to come?

Tony Soprano

I can't watch this again.

Silvio Dante

This is a DVD, it's the advanced bootleg.

Paulie Walnuts

These are the alternative takes, Ton'.

Tony Soprano

What, you gonna call Coppola and give ideas how to fix it?

Silvio Dante

I'm losing my balls over here! This fucking moron's playing hazel. Get the fuck out of here!

I was just trying to sweep the cheese away--

Silvio Dante

Why? Why now? Leave it there.

I don't know, I was just--

Silvio Dante

What? Where do you get these fuckin' idiots, huh? Where do you get them? He's sweeping the cheese, I'm trying to get-- leave the fucking cheese there, alright! I love fucking cheese at my feet! I stick motherfuckin' provolone in my socks at night, so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning. Alright? So, leave the fucking cock sucking cheese where it is!

Silvio Dante

We got Eisenhower's dinnerware from allied headquarters in London. We got a couple of Hermann Goering's personal pearl handled lugers, and get this... We got the jeep that Patton drove around in, in Sicily.

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

We have ways of dealing with you Mr. Soprano! (German uniform, German accent)

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

(in German uniform) I know nothing! Nothing! (comedic)

Silvio Dante

Ton', I am looking at the fucking history channel here!

Tony Soprano

How long? How much do they know?

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

A year and a half. No, less.

Silvio Dante

A year and a fucking half you been running your own fucking gossip column?

Paulie Walnuts

Motherfucker!! (pushes Pussy angrily)

Silvio Dante

Tony, guess what we found in the bottom of the Christmas box.

Tony Soprano

Santa Outfit.

Silvio Dante

You guessed.

Tony Soprano

Burn the fuckin' thing.

Christopher Moltisanti

This is the first Christmas in history I remember him not bein' Santa.

Ahh... Big Pussy.

Paulie Walnuts

We were talkin' the other day about that fat piece o' shit. When he got back from Boca in Christmas in '95, how he wasn't himself.

Tony Soprano

What happened to uh... not wastin' your breath on the cocksucker?

Two faced fuck. To sell out your friends and save your own ass. It's despicable. That's one ride I would've loved ta been along on.

Christopher Moltisanti

Yeah... me too.

Tony Soprano

Enough o' this shit. Put up the fuckin' decorations.

Silvio Dante

Well we still gotta find somebody ta play Santa.

Tony Soprano

The fuck outta here.

Bobby Baccilieri

What?

Christopher Moltisanti

Ho fuckin' ho!

Tony Soprano

You're right.

Bobby Baccilieri

What are you talkin' about?

Paulie Walnuts

You wanna play Santa Claus at the party this year?

Bobby Baccilieri

Nah, I can't do that.

Silvio Dante

Why not?

Bobby Baccilieri

...I don't know. I don't know how.

Paulie Walnuts

Eh, what's to know? You ask 'em what they want for Christmas, you give 'em a nice toy, and that's the end of it.

Bobby Baccilieri

Nah. Not me, I can't.

Paulie Walnuts

Yes you can.

Bobby Baccilieri

I can't.

Paulie Walnuts

Why not?

Bobby Baccilieri

I'm shy.

Paulie Walnuts

The Boss of this family told you you're gonna be Santa Claus. You're Santa Claus! So shut the fuck up about it.

Silvio Dante

One thing you gotta admit, he made a great Santa Claus.

Tony Soprano

He did.

Paulie Walnuts

In the end, fuck Santa Claus.

Hesh Rabkin

Hey...whoah...whoah..whoah...whoah. Back up. Hitler?

Silvio Dante

Yeah that Indian..uh..from the protest was whinin' about the wilderness, they had him on TV and he called Columbus Hitler.

Hesh Rabkin

You're talkin' outta your ass. Columbus and Hitler? You're trivializing the Holocaust. Frankly, Reuben, if you've got that kind of covert anti-semitism, I'd like you to leave my house.

Hesh Rabkin

That's right.

Tony Soprano

Alright, fine; you tell me who told you about him, we'll bring him in here. He corroborates with what you're saying, I'll give you Ralph on a platter.

Johnny Sack

Is nothing scared? I mean, this is my wife we're talking about here. If this was years ago would I even have had to ask? I mean, what happened to this thing? For God's sake, we bend more rules than the Catholic Church!

Tony Soprano

Alright look, let's assume for the sake of argument Ralph said what you think he said - is clipping him going to un-ring that bell?

Nobody's getting clipped.

Johnny Sack

I want satisfaction.

Silvio Dante

Will you accept an apology?

Johnny Sack

That ship that has sailed.

You're being unreasonable, John!

Johnny Sack

Ralph Cifaretto the only one who can handle the Esplanade? Put Pontecorvo in there.

There's millions of dollars at stake.

Johnny Sack

Again with the money?

Yeah, again with the money. It's settled, John. So either name a price or get the fuck over it.

Tony Soprano

Twenty years I've been friends with John. Now he's gotta go.

Christopher Moltisanti

All over a stupid joke.

Ralph Cifaretto

I was fuckin' around. Fer chrissakes, you never made a joke about Ginny Sack?

Silvio Dante

Not like that.

Tony Soprano

Of course not!

Ralph Cifaretto

Yeah, well fuck him and his high-fillutin' bullshit. Who does he think he is? Sir Walter Raleigh?

Silvio Dante

Oh! It's Papillon. (To Paulie)

Paulie Walnuts

Oh, hello Sil! How are ya?

Christopher Moltisanti

I heard you were gettin' laid up there all the time.

Paulie Walnuts

Come here, you little prick. Hello, Chrissy. (Paulie hugs Chris)