Tony Blundetto quotes from The Sopranos

Tony Blundetto

(to Paulie Walnuts, about his hair) You got ta let that dry before you put on a second coat? Fuckin' Grandpa Munster over here.

Silvio Dante

(laughing) Ohhh...

Tony Blundetto

(to Vito Spatafore, about cards) You gonna deal those? They're not candy bars. You can let some of 'em go. (everybody laughs)

Tony Soprano

Jesus Christ, I'm gone for one hour, all of a sudden it turns into a fuckin' slumber party.

Tony Blundetto

Somebody woke up on the wrong side o' the bed.

Paulie Walnuts

So, how many guys you gotta jerk off on a massage table ta make that?

Tony Blundetto

I don't know. What do ya charge without the table.

Phil Leotardo

I don't feel like I'm sittin' at twelve o' clock.

Tony Blundetto

May I?

Phil Leotardo

I don't give a fuck. You can sit in there until fucking saginata. It'll still need to be dealt with. This car went through a major collision.

Tony Blundetto

Seems okay.

Phil Leotardo

How can it be okay if its askew? What's a matter Joey, you got a fuckin' eye problem! You look like Stevie Wonder, your eyes rollin' around!

Huh, what I say? I didn't say nuthin'...

Tony Blundetto

What's up?

Tony Soprano

Turns out somebody got a look at the guy that did Joe Peeps. All they got so far is he's got a bad limp.

Tony Blundetto

Huh...Long John Silver maybe?

Tony Soprano

Where the fuck do you get the balls? I am bendin' over backwards tryin' to stay neutral, payin' for fuckin' car seats and you're out there acting like a fuckin' free agent. Don't look at me like I'm a fuckin' jerkoff, 'cuz I'm sick of you leanin' on this cousin thing and that bad hijack like you can do whatever the fuck it is you wanna do 'cuz you went away that night and I didn't!

Tony Blundetto

You're the one who keeps bringin' that up, I'm fine with it. First of all for the record, I had nothin' to do with this.

Tony Soprano

Don't fuckin' lie to me!!

Tony Blundetto

Even if I was, would you really wanna know, that'd just be another problem for you with Johnny right?

Tony Soprano

Aight, look, I know you're not earnin' what you expected and you got the twins and Nancy...you're a capable guy. Your mother let it slip one time, you got an IQ of 158.

Tony Blundetto

She told you that?

Tony Soprano

It's the week you got tested, all the fuckin' nuns were ravin' about it.

Tony Blundetto

Lotta good it did me.

Tony Soprano

I had high hopes when you got out!

Tony Blundetto

Yeah...

Tony Soprano

Look a guy like you, brains, balls, if you'd fuckin' be straight with me I could use all that.

Tony Blundetto

Put me in, coach.

Tony Soprano

Aight, we got the casino on Bloomfield Avenue above the hardware store. Carlo's guy was runnin' it but he just got diagnosed with the Hodgkins.

Tony Blundetto

That's mine?

Tony Soprano

Yeah. Lotta fuckin' money there. And I'll see what I can do about gettin' you straightened out...openin' up the books for you, it's long overdue.

Tony Blundetto

They used to call me Ichabod Crane.

Christopher Moltisanti

Who?

Tony Blundetto

Some very sorry people, that's who.

Tony Soprano

You know what I been thinkin' about lately? Charmaine Bucco.

Tony Blundetto

Nice set on her.

Tony Soprano

No, not like that. Well, maybe like that.