The church is eating me.
S34When Nelson Met Lisa
S34Top Goon
From up here the wads look like ants.
MMoe
Hey, you wanna drop pickled eggs on 'em?
Sure! [Moe hands Nelson a jar of pickled eggs to drop on people]
MMoe
Yeah, Duff lets me use their blimp 'cause I buy up all the booze that the employees drown in.
Pretty sweet for a couple of scuzzes.
MMoe
Yeah, it's a big world down there, kid. And when its back is turned, you can steal anything you want from it. [Looks down as Nelson continues to drop the eggs] Ooh, that egg just hit a cop's horse. Floor it, Jimmy! Floor it!
[Jimmy revs the blimp and hightails it away from danger]
S34The Many Saints of Springfield
Rod, Todd: I found a pregnancy test. Yay!
S34Carl Carlson Rides Again
Don't talk about Moe's. Don't talk about Moe's.
S34Bartless
[At home, Homer and Marge scold Bart for defacing library books]
Thanks to your little prank, 25 library books were ruined. Haven't we told you that books are precious?
I'm afraid to count how many times I've said that.
No, you weren't even there. I was just trying to make it fun for the kid. You never take my side.
Side? Get a load of this kid with a side. [Yells at Bart] How dare you defend yourself? You are the destroyer!
Yes, that's it. The destroyer. You ruin everything, even our holiday picture. [Shows Bart their holiday picture]
There's no such thing as Christmas fangs! I had to wear a scarf to midnight mass.
I don't have a moment when I'm not worried about what you'll do next. [Loses her breath] I can't... I ju... I can't...
Babe, babe, tag me in. I can take him. [Marge tags Homer, and he leaps over the bed] Destroyer. Our house is filled with unexploded pranks. Any toilet seat could be covered in superglue.
[enters the bedroom, carrying a glass of hot dog water] Bart put hot dog water in the ice maker. He's the destroyer!
I just told him that.
Good. [puts the glass on the floor]
[SHL licks the glass]
Ten years as your father has left me empty. Like an orange soda bottle at a picnic sticky and covered with dying bees! I'm just... I c-- I can't...
Babe, babe. [Homer tags Marge and collapses]
Okay, punishments. What's your least favorite vegetable?
Swiss chard. [gasps]
You're looking at a whole lot of swiss chard sandwiches, buster.
[gets up on his feet] And you're never allowed to read a book again!
S34Clown V. Board of Education
[The Simpsons are eating dinner, but Homer tries to take a pork chop and Bart grabs it with the hand glove grabber stick]
You know the rules, boy. In this house, I get the first shower and the last pork chop.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.