[Gerald is reading Kyle's essay]
[voiceover] "My Final Solution" by Kyle Broflovski. My dad is the smartest guy in the whole wide world. He has taught me that all poor people are actually things called clods. I wanna live in a world of only gods so my idea to make America better is put all the poor people into camps.
[voiceover] If we get rid of them, there will be nothing but rich people, and there won't be any hunger, poverty or homeless people, 'cause they'll all be dead. The End.
Oh God, what have I done?
What are you doing, sweetheart?
Getting a cookie. We're building a clubhouse and--
You men are all alike. First you get a cookie and then you criticize the way I dress, and then it's the way I cook. I suppose next you'll be telling me that you "need your space" and that I'm "sabotaging your creativity". Go ahead, Stanley, get your goddamned cookie!
[she leaves]
What? I'm not kissing a girl!
Don't be a chicken dude, just close your eyes.
[Kyle hesitates, then relaxes. Bebe moves forward and plants a kiss on his lips]
Sick! Fucking sickening! [Kyle runs out of the tree house, Bebe stares]
Wow, look at that ass! Shake it, baby!!
[Bebe tries to pass a note to Kyle from across the room]
Stanley, are you passing notes to Kyle?
Don't lie! Lying makes you sterile!
I'm not lying! Someone just handed me--
Stanley, if you think it's so important to keep interrupting my class, then why don't you come up to the front and read your note to Kyle for everyone to hear.
But I didn't write the note!
Mr. Garrison, Stan's behavior is having an adverse effect on my education.
Stanley Marsh, you come up here right now and read your note!
"Dear Kyle, you have got such a great ass. I could sleep for days on those perk cheeks, let me tell you. I'd like to live with you and wear your ass as a hat for all eternity." Whoa, dude!
Now, young man, uh... ...school is a time for learning, not for immature skylarkings.
You know, like tomfooleries.
[Someone knocks on Mr. Mackey's door and open Mr. Mackey's door]
Oh, your parents are here.
[Randy and Sharon enter]
Thank you for coming on such short notice. I was just disciplining your son for his skylarkings.
Stanley, I... Skylarkings?
Stanley, I want you to explain to me why you were passing notes in school.
Randy, let me handle this. Now Stanley, I want you to explain to me why you were passing notes in school.
It wasn't my note, dude. It was some girl's.
Okay, Stanley, we're all here to get to the root of your behavior disorder.
You really should know better, Stanley.
You need to shape up, mister.
[To Randy.] Don't interrupt me! You always interrupt me when I talk! Can't you see that I?--
[A bit testily.] I don't interrupt you.
There, you did it again! [To Mr. Mackey.] He interrupted me again.
Okay, uh -- perhaps you should let your wife finish talking, Mr. Marsh. Now, Stan, I want you to be...
Okay, I'm sorry I interrupt. But she always takes over any conversation!
[the boys have decided to enter Cartman into a bull riding contest]
What the hell makes you think "Cartman rides a bull?"
[throttling Cartman by his neck, through gritted-in-fury teeth] Because you spent all of our money on those stupid rides, fatass! Now, either you're getting on a bull or I'm gonna BREAK YOUR FUCKING HEAD OPEN!!!!
O-kay, I'll get on a bull.
All right! Now, come on! We have to practice!
[To Cartman.] He really wants those dolls.
MMary
That ride wasn't very good.
Now, Mary, you promised me we'd try to have a good time.
MMary
You're right. I'm sorry, honey, I'll try and have a good time.
Boys, I'm afraid your fat little friend has suffered head trauma.
Stan What's the matter with him.
Well, apparently, he thinks he's a Vietnamese prostitute named Ming Li.
But can he still ride a bull?
We need him to win a bull-riding contest so we can get Terrance and Phillip dolls. Can he still do it?
No, boys! You need to take him home and let him get plenty of sleep.
[After finally winning Terrance and Phillip dolls in a rigged carnival game, Stan and Kyle are shocked to see them fall to pieces in their hands.]
Dude, these dolls are cheap rip-offs!
After all that?! Shenanigans! Shenanigans! SHENANIGAAAANS!
