Randy Marsh quotes from South Park

Stanley, your mom's a little freaked out right now. Why don't you go outside and play with your big brown package from Afghanistan?

Sharon, don't you think maybe you should watch something else? You've been watching CNN for about [checks his watch] eight weeks now?

We gave those kids everything and they turned into little John Walkers!

The spirit of middle-class white people is strong in you, son.

Ah women. God I hate them.

Son! Avenge me! Avenge... meh!

Let me handle this, Sharon. You got to put these cult people in their place or else they never stop! I'm going to go kick this Mr. Harrison's leg! [exits and slams the door shut, but quickly returns] Is Mr. Harrison...is a...is a white guy, right?

Oh, no, she didn't!

Hey, Batdad, I didn't hear no bell.

For what? Arresting me for what? I'm not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was America! Huh? Isn't this America? I'm sorry, I thought this was America.

Denver sucks ass.

[draws a line near near the bottom of a USA map] Everyone below this line will have to be evacuated to the South... [draws another line further up] Everyone above this line is already dead. [draws two horizontal lines in between the two verticals] People like us in the middle states will have to ride it out... [draws a sphere] People in the balmy south-western states might have a chance, but [draws a small horizontal line between and at the end of the two horizontals] New York will have tidal waves that will envelop the north-east. [draws a circle, making the diagram resemble a penis and testicles]

What, Frank?

[looks at it a moment and realizes] Aw! Oh, goddammit. [draws a squiggle to cover it]

It's not fair. Why did you give me this disease?

Your mother's been worried sick! And I've been watching TV.

And Stan, don't forget: win or lose...that's the only choices you have. Win or lose.