Attention, lovers of free office supplies - come and steal things you can easily afford!
S23How I Wet Your Mother
[on the uralarm] Now that's what I call looking out for a number one.
BFB.F. Sherwood
Now, I believe that to solve Homer's problem, he must face what's inside the coffin.
Forget it, Doc. What if that's my marriage in there?
Marriage, shmarriage. What's in the box, man? [he opens the coffin, causing the fishes out of the coffin]
[angrily] See what your monkeyshines have done, boy?
Still smells better than your gym socks, man.
[turns red in anger] Why you little... [angrily strangles Bart] I'll teach you to make fun of my socks.
Lighten up, Marge. I take you to the Disneyland of me and you just want to go to the lost and found.
DADream Apu
Homer, you do not yet understand the meaning of karma.
But isn't karma just an expression of the dhrama?
DADream Apu
That is beside the point, okay?
S23Them, Robot
MMillhouse
My heart makes up for my shortcomings, like Rudy!
RRobot
Rudy was only put in at the end of a meaningless game. We will notify you if this game comes meaningless.
What happened to you guys? You used to be cool.
RRobot
We are the same temperature. We have always been.
I'm all alone, and when there's some problem due to a human error, guess who's to blame?
If we've learned anything from The Full Monty, it's that, in a tough economy, ugly people strip for money.
S23Beware My Cheating Bart
Oh, that's such a first-take answer!
S23A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Will Never Do Again
[after Maggie offers him her pacifier]: Sorry kid, but there comes a day when that just doesn't do anything anymore.
Mom! Dad! I woke up and the money jar was full! That means the devil accepted my bargain. Now, to uphold my end of the deal! Snowball II!
[Puts her hand on his shoulder] No!
[angrily turns red] Choke on my numb blue hands.
But where does the ship stop again?
I don't know. A lot of barefoot kids kicking soccer balls, shell necklaces, they really hit the poverty nicely.
[as she's being welcomed into the Kid Zone Elite] It's so diverse. I've died and gone to a PBS kids' show.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.