[Marge is suspicious of Homer, who is wearing a fedora hat and a trench coat.]
Homer, where are you going?
Work.
It's 4 o'clock on a Saturday.
I, uh, have to... count the atoms at the nuclear plant. Conservation of mass! It's the law!
S19Dial 'N' for Nerder
Bart, Martin could be seriously hurt or worse! We have to do something!
You're right. Let's watch TV.
S19Smoke on the Daughter
I'm not a nerd. I'm a jock who's too cool for sports.
AApu
You have made a very powerless enemy.
Stop saying things, Bart. That's the TV's job.
CBChazz Busby
I haven't seen crap like this since my Broadway show Crap Like This. Ran for five years.
Son, while your mother and little mother are out, I'm gonna let you in on a deep, dark family secret.
You have a drinking problem?
I said secret.
I can't believe you were smoking! Do you know that sturgeon general says you're not supposed to?
A sturgeon is a fish.
And a very wise fish he is.
S19Papa Don't Leech
Bart, get me my suicide axe.
No suicide axe!
[loud whisper to Bart] Later.
I'm really worried about Lurleen.
Yeah, me too. Since her father re-abandoned her, she cut the word "pop" out of all our foods.
[Shows boxes that read ____ Tarts, Jiffy ___ ___ corn, ___eye's Chicken, ___pycock.]
[Bart pours a box of Rice Krispies, The cereal falls out of a cutout where Pop should be.]
You'd think living in a house of crazy people would be fun. It's actually really depressing.
RDRadio DJ
Here's a song that's rising faster than a rocket with a rocket up its butt!
[to Lurleen] If you ever come near Homer again, I'll strangle you with your own hair extensions. That's right, I know.
S19Apocalypse Cow
So Dean Martin would show up at the last minute and do everything in just one take?
That's right.
But Wikipedia said he was "passionate about rehearsal".
Don't you worry about Wikipedia. We'll change it when we get home. We'll change a lot of things.
Sorry Lis, I can't be a vegetarian, I love the taste of death!
You're in a better place now, Lou. And I'll always be proud that, for once in my life, I had a cow man.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.