The Simpsons · Season 10
[The Simpsons eat at a USA-themed restaurant called "AmericaTown." Each table is shaped like a state, and the Simpsons are seated at Massachusetts]
I can't believe they stuck us at Taxachusetts! Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket.
And?
Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated.
Hey, look, isn't that Woody Allen?
Hmm. Looks like he's doing a commercial.
Oh! Ahem, hello. So many rice crackers claim to be low-cal, but only Fujikawa Rice Crackers make your interiors go bananas. What did I do to deserve this? Oh, right.
Mmm, $59 pretzel. Hey, what's Baby Huey doin'?
Says here they throw salt before they wrestle to purify the ring.
Hmm. Spare some salt, tubby?
Tubby? [Subtitled in English from Japanese]: The name "Tubby" is hurtful, as my weight problem is glandular. Are you going to eat that? Yoink.
Now can we do something Japanese?
Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff. In jail, we had to be in this dumb Kabuki play about the 47 Ronin and I wanted to be Yoshi, but they made me Ori.
Then we had to do two hours of origami followed by flower arranging and meditation.
[Japanese version of Should we tell them the secret of inner peace? in English subtitles]
[Japanese version of No, they are foreign devils. in English subtitles]
Honey, I know you want to see Japan, bet we're down to our last million yen.
Don't worry, ichiban. I'll show you something Japanese.
Oh, it's beautiful, Dad.
It's a crane. The Japanese believe they bring good luck.
Oh, be careful. We need that money to get home. [gasps] No!
[Japanese version of D'oh! in English subtitles]
Now, Mr. Simpson, I know you lost all your money, but don't worry. The United States will not stand idly by while one of its citizens is stuck here like this.
But, Mr. Ambassador, how are we going to get home?
Beats me. Try getting a job and earning some money. That's what I did. By the way, "ambassador" is taken.
Now, Mr. Simpson, I know you lost all your money, but don't worry. The United States will not stand idly by while one of its citizens is stuck here like this.
But, Mr. Ambassador, how are we going to get home?
Beats me. Try getting a job and earning some money. That's what I did. By the way, "ambassador" is taken.
[After losing their money, the Simpsons work in a fish-processing plant to try to earn their fare home]
[cheerfully] Every truckload of fish we gut brings us thirty-one cents closer to those tickets home.
And I think I've finally found what I was put on this earth to do. [starts gutting fish] Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out.
[Bart pulls a talking fish out of the pile]
Spare my life and I'll give you three wish ... [gets gutted] ...gaah!
Knife goes in, guts come out.
Yippee! Time for the company loyalty song!
[Osaka Seafood Concern Squid appears on TV singing]
[singing] Knife-a goes in, a-guts come out [stabs itself] that's what Osaka Seafood Concern is all about. [collapses]
Well, this sucks; what else is on? [uses eel to change the channel]
Thank you. You have fulfilled our dreams and dreams of our ancestors.
Tune in tomorrow, when another lucky family tries to win their dreams on Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show.
Family Wish Show. Hmm. That gives me an idea.
I think we all had that idea.
I didn't. What is it? Lunch?
Hey, isn't that Homer on the Japanese channel?
Wait a minute. If that's Homer, who's been putting beers on his tab?
[dressed unconvincingly as Homer] D'oh! Woo-hoo! Uh.... That boy ain't right!
Good-bye, Japan. I'll miss your Kentucky Fried Chicken and your sparkling, whale-free seas.
Hey, what's goin' on?
What's happening?
Uh, folks, we’re experiencing some moderate Godzilla-related turbulence at this time, so I’m going to go ahead and ask you to put your seatbelts back on. When we get to 35,000 feet, he usually does let go, so from there on out, all we have to worry about is Mothra, and, uh, we do have reports he’s tied up with Gamera and Rodan at the present time. Thank you very much.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
