Lenny Leonard quotes from The Simpsons

L.T. Smash

It's a three-pronged attack. Subliminal, liminal, and super liminal.

Lisa

Super liminal?

L.T. Smash

I'll show you.... [Shouts out the window at Lenny and Carl] HEY YOU! Join the navy!

Carl

Yeah, alright.

I'm in!

Howard K. Duff

Well, Homer, your hunger strike lasted 12 amazing days.

Homer

Oh, me so hungy.

Howard K. Duff

Of course you are, Hungry Hungry Homer. So why not break your fast with our brand new Isotope Dog Supreme?

Homer

[Smells the hot dog]. Oh, so hard to resist. Mesquite-grilled onions, jalapeño relish... Wait a minute, those are South Western ingredients! [The crowd gasps]. Mango-lime salsa? That's the kind of bold flavour they enjoy in... [Grabs the microphone]. Albuquerque!

He's right.

Yeah, and the wrapper says Albuquerque Isotopes

Sideshow Mel

Homer was right, they're planning to move the team!

Howard K. Duff

Now, now, see here, people. Let's not be too hasty.

Homer

Tell the truth! Come on, everybody!

Tell the truth! Tell the truth!

Howard K. Duff

Get him out of here!

Homer

Don't listen to him, Duffman. For once in your life, stand up for the little guy.

Duffman

New feelings brewing in Duffman! What would Jesus do?

Duffman

Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?

Carl

Hey, it's Duffman!

Newsweek said you died of liver failure.

Duffman

Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!

Homer

Grrrr...! RAAAAARRGGGHHH!!! HOMER MAD!!! AAARRRGGH!! [Bashes the fence down] GAAAAAARRRGGH!!!

Bart

Thank God his pants stayed on.

Homer

AAAARRGGHH!!! [Rampages through the town.] HOMER MAD!! HOMER SMASH!! GET REVENGE ON WORLD!!!

Look, it's the Incredible Hulk!

Homer

GAAAARRRGGGHH!!!

I say Phantom Menace sucked more!

Carl

I say Attack of the Clones sucked more!

Homer

[about Cameron as he walks onstage in a flashy costume and shades] He's about to learn one of the most important lessons in the music business: don't trust people in the music business.

[singing] I'm a privileged boy, it's great, I gotta tell ya. Privileged boy, my dad could buy and sell ya. It really doesn't matter that you're on the list in front of me. I'm gonna get your table 'cause I always tip the maitre d'. And then I'll go to Yale, [shows a diploma] because I am a legacy! [down on one knee and pointing at the crowd] I'm better than you!

BOOOO!!

Carl

You SUCK, Johnny Rainbow!

[as he tears up a picture of "Johnny Rainbow"] I believed in you!

Homer

This camp's got it all. Climbing some kind of rope thing. Wearing a backpack. High-fiving the black kid. [angrily to Bart] It's the perfect thing to straighten you out.

Principal Skinner

Got it. [Bart groans 3 times] Now I have a ring tone for my brand-new cell phone. No wires at all. Except this one.

Hey, check it out. I made it partially risqué. [he and Carl hi five]

Homer

[approaching with his car, where Bart is sitting on a back seat] Hey, guys, I have to put the boy on a plane to soul-crushing camp. Then I'll be back to go to Vegas.

Bart

Dad, if you take me to Vegas, I'll teach you how to cheat at blackjack.

Homer

Boy, you don't need to cheat when you got a system.

Bart

What's your system?

Homer

[whispers to Bart] I don't tell your mother how much I've lost.

Carl

I don't get it. What's so "great" about this depression?

I like how everything's in sepia tone. Makes me all nostalgic.

I didn't think it would come to this when I fought in the First World War.

"First World War"? Why do you keep calling it that?

Oh, you'll see!

Homer, it's just a book.

Homer

No man should outlive his fictional wizard! NO MAN!

A little tip... you might want to wash me before you eat me.

Barney

All right!

Carl

Yeah, you better!

Thank you.

I just have to warn you, Marge...

Marge

I could do worse!

We're proof that you could do worse!

Homer

She couldn't possibly do worse!

I'm gonna miss Ted, he was a good supervisor.

Carl

Definitely hands off. He didn't mind if we punched in late, or not at all.

Homer

And he didn't mind that we made a few changes to the soda machine... mmm... beer.

Mr. Burns

We have to cut costs.

But we have way more expensive unnecessaries than doughnuts.

Carl

Yeah, like the ceiling furniture.

And all the joke ID badges we ordered.

Mr. Burns

No doughnuts!

No!

Homer

D'oh!

Carl

Nuts!

Mr. Burns

Exactly!

Homer

And now because it's after noon, I can go to Moe's without having a "drinking problem."

Hey, Homer. I could hear your pathetic rationalizing through the door.

Trouble in paradise?

Homer

No, my marriage.