TTakayama
(In Japanese Accent) Welcome to Shitty Sushi. Can I take er order please?
What's the big idea putting your Shitty Sushi right next to my Shitty Wok?!
TTakayama
I'm sorry I do under understand your accent. You want Shitty tuna roll????
No I don't want Shitty tuna roll! I want you to go find another Shitty town to open your Shitty Sushi prace!
TTakayama
Why don't you please just speak Engrish? Maybe I can understand you!
I am speaking Engrish! Why don't you speak a fucking Engrish, you sofa eating fuck!
TTakayama
Get out or I call police!
Come on, kid, you don't want to eat this Shitty Sushi! It give you worms.
TTakayama
Better than Shitty Kung Pao Chicken made from CAT!!!!!!!!
[An Enraged Mr. Kim turns and runs to the counter, jumps over it and lands a blow in Mr. Takayama's face. They trade blows. Mr. Kim ends with an uppercut]
[goes into City Sushi] You see what happened?!
TMr. Takiyama
I told you not to come in here!
Now everyone in town think a Chinese and a Japanese are the same fucking thing!
TMr. Takiyama
I don't even know what the fuck you are saying! Uhpupuh putuh peepee!
Aaah you Japanese racist! [Mr. Kim launches at Mr. Takiyama like he did before, and they trade blows again.]
[The bowling alley, Steamy Ray Vaughn is back in performing. The janitor and his friend are present]
City bog. Too much, too much city bop. Too much too much too much [puts the mic to his ass and farts into it]
FFriend
Lord, I ain't never seen britches take a whooping like that.
JJanitor
I told you. Them britches don't stand a chance.
City bop! City yeah! [more fart sounds, and the song ends] Thank you! Thank you so much! I'd like to uh, bring up a special guest now. The other night I was chatting in a Tween Wave chatroom, because I do love Tween Wave so much, and I uh started chatting with this nice lady who also really like her kids' Tween Wave music and... turns out she's a real talented artist as well. Please welcome Miss Steamy Nicks.
SNSteamy Nicks
[sounding a lot like a goat] Thank you, thank you so much. [Randy presses play and a song begins]
FFriend
Wait now, who's that lady?
JJanitor
That there's Steamy Nicks.
FFriend
You mean that gal who played for Fleetwood Mac and wrote that song "Landslide"?
JJanitor
Nnooh, that's Stevie Nicks. Steamy Nicks just shits her britches. [sure enough, she does this, and Randy joins her a second later]
Yayaya! [more fart sounds]
[enters the bowling alley and heads straight for Randy] Who the hell is that woman, Randy?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!
JJanitor
I agree. Why don't you leave them poor britches alone?
FFriend
Them britches have had enough!
[Nighttime at the Marsh residence; Randy and Sharon are seen arguing through the living room windows]
You don't get it, Sharon! You never have! And that's supposed to be my fault?!
Yes, it IS your fault, Randy, because you're a child!
I'm sick of everything I do being so wrong, Sharon!
You're 42 years old, Randy!
I'm not dead yet Sharon, but you might be!
Oh, is that what you think?! That I'm dead?! You do this all the time! First you're obsessed with baseball fights! Then you need to play Warcraft! Then you gotta be a celebrity chef!
Why can't you ever just support me?!
Support what?! Another stupid dream of yours?!
Face it Sharon, our son turned 10 and you feel old!
WHAT does our son turning 10 have to do with YOU making the same mistakes again and again?!
BECAUSE I'M UNHAPPY, OKAY?! I've been unhappy for a long time! [Sharon reflects on this for a moment and her voice goes soft]
...I'm unhappy too. We both are, obviously. How much longer can we keep doing this? It's like, the same shit just happens over and over and, then in a week it just all resets until it happens again. Every week it's kind of the same story in a different way but it, it just keeps getting more and more ridiculous.
I don't know if I've changed or you have. I just feel like I might not have a whole lot of time left and, I want to enjoy it.
I want to enjoy it too, but... I can't fake it anymore; you just seem kind of... shitty to me.
You kind of seem shitty to me too.
People get older, Randy. People grow apart.
[While drunk] Kyle! [Hugs Kyle]
Hey, Stan? [Pulls away from the hug]
[Speaking slurred] Dude, I'm sorry. I'm being a shitty friend. I missed my buddy. You were right, Adam Sandler is fucking hysterical!
But Kyle, it's all shit! For real! It's all shit because the aliens with AI and you and me are gonna fuck it all up! Come on!
Dude. Have you been drinking?
You're not listening to me, Kyle. Dude, we have to go do this one thing, and then everything can go back to normal!
It's too late for that. Things just can't go back, Stan, uh. I'm with Cartman Burger now.
[Pauses for a moment] Dude, Cartman Burger? Seriously? How shitty is that fucking concept?
See? There you go again. Look at you, dude. Look what you've become. [Cartman shows up to see Kyle]
Everything alright here, Kyle?
We're gonna need some more patties pretty soon.
Yeah, yeah, ah I'll be right there.
Come on, Kyle. This is about you and me, remember?!
Look, dude, things around here have changed. Sometimes, the only way to keep going is to make a left turn.
[In silence, waiting for a moment] Fuck you, Kyle, [Flips him off] you're a piece of shit! [Kyle sighs and leaves to the burger stand] Kyle, I love you. [Kyle shows ups, but Stan flips him of again] You're a piece of shit, though, Fuck you! [Kyle leaves again to the burger stand] I love you. [Kyle refuses to show up to him this time]
Eric, as you might've heard, a student here at South Park Elementary, had an accident in the classroom.
I know, dude, Pete Melman crapped his pants! So freakin' funny!
Okay, but you probably understand that for Pete, it isn't that funny. For him, it's embarrassing and terrifying.
Right, that's why it's super funny to me.
Eric, it has been almost one year since Corey Duran defecated in his pants here at school. Now, you remember what happened to him?
[After Stan discovers his personal information on Eavesdropper.]
Kenny! [He goes to Kenny] Kenny, What the fuck?!
How did Eavesdropper get a hold of my e-mail to you?
Did you leave your e-mails open for everyone to read?
That was a Private e-mail message from me and you! [Wendy shows up angrily at Stan, and Stan noticed her] Hey, Wendy.
You like looking at girls' butt cracks, Stan?!
Oh, fuck. I'm gettin' out of here! [Kenny closes his locker and leaves]
Alright, are we sure we're alone?
We're alone, now what the hell are we gonna do?
What can we do? We're all gonna get fired!
This story hasn't gone on Eavesdropper yet, maybe it won't.
Oh, right! The school faculty tries to poison all their students, that's not gonna be on Wikileaks!
Let's just face it. We made our beds when we enlisted Eric Cartman's help, we have to lie in them.
