[Randy, Sharon, and Shelley are on the roof of Best Buy with the Stotches]
[filming] Here's Sharon and Shelley on the roof of Best Buy. We… We ran up here to get off the streets. We found the Stotch family hiding up here also. [pans the camera to the Stotches] There's Chris and Linda, and their son, Butters.
[waves to the camera] Hello. [chuckles]
[A sound of buzzing is heard and starts increasing]
What is that? Chris, what is that?
Oh, that's a--that's a new sound.
SStephen (Chris)
[points to something up in the sky] Oh, God, look!
Those aren't guinea pigs!
SStephen (Chris)
Get off the roof!
[following them as they get off the roof and run down the stairs] Go! Go, go, go, go, go! Oh, God. Going down the stairs now. Okay, getting down the stairs!
[They reach the main floor and a news report is shown in the television aisle as they head to the entrance]
AAnchorman
And we are now getting word of giant bees. The giant bees have been seen in the U.S. and Europe.
Get away! There's bees everywhere! There's another one right there!
[pans the camera to a giant guinea bee] OH, MY GOD!!!
T2Townsman #2
[on the ground, with a stinger stabbed in his chest] It stung me! IT STUNG ME!
SStephen (Chris)
Look, I think we need to find a way out under the city.
In the sewers? It can't be safe down there!
Oh, God. What are gonna do?
[A crashing sound is heard and some people start screaming]
Something's inside the store!
MMan
Guinea rabbits! They're inside!
[Two guinea rabbits surround a man being bitten in half]
WWoman
[screaming in horror] TRAVIS! NO!
(It's too late!) You can't help him!
What do you think about the Guinea-saurus Rex, Shelley? Oh, that's good. There's Shelley with the Guinea-saurus Rex in the background. Give… give a little peace sign, Shelly. Oh, I know, hold out your palm so it looks like you're holding the Guinea-saurus Rex. Shelley?
[finally having enough; furiously] RANDY! I HAVE HAD IT! YOU ARE PUTTING DOWN THAT GODDAMN CAMERA!
Sharon, you're gonna be really glad we have all this footage of the family, someday.
[Sharon angrily screams and smacks the camera out of Randy's hands]
MCMichael Chertoff
Damn you, Craig! You just don't ever stop, do you?!
MCMichael Chertoff
You see, for thousands of years, horrid creatures have lived in the guinea valley of Peru. The Incas learned how to keep the creatures at bay, by playing pan flute music. Guinea creatures hate it even more than humans do. But the prophecy foretold that one day, the creatures would be unleashed and I have made that happen! The Incas predicted the world would be saved… by Craig. But that part of the prophecy will not come true! For you will all die on this mountain!
GMr. Gueermo
That's it, I'm gonna slap you!
GMrs. Gueermo
No, please!
GMr. Gueermo
[Slaps his wife, singing] I slap you! I slap you! I slap, slap, slap you! I'm slapping you, slapping you silly, 'cause you disrespected me!
GMr. Gueermo
Oh, I'm going slap happy! [Outside of the Gueermo Residence, where we see Mr. Gueermo slapping Child Protective Services agents, singing] I'm going slap, slap-happy! Slappity slappin' you, teachin' you a lesson for coming in my house! [The agents drove away from the house and Gueermo noticed his neighbor next door] What are you looking at, Robertson? [in a flash he slaps Robertson three times, and just as quickly he's back inside his house and closes the front door]
[panicking as he enters the house] Mom! Mom, I gotta tell you something! You're not gonna believe it!
[knitting] Not now, Butters. Your father wants to have a talk with you in the kitchen. He is not happy.
Oh, no. What I'd do this time?
You just march on in there.
Oh, jeez. [marches into the kitchen and enters]
[As Butters enters the kitchen, he sees his displeased father standing in front of the counter with a box of Hamburger Helper and a glass of milk sitting next to him]
You see this, Butters? It's a glass of milk that I poured for myself. And you see this? It's Hamburger Helper. Now would you mind telling me what Hamburger Helper is doing in this glass of milk?! Why is Hamburger Helper in a glass of milk, Butters?!
[nervously] I have no idea, sir.
I'll tell you why! [opens the pantry] Our pantry is always kept organized alphabetically. But somebody put the Hamburger Helper where the Nestle Quik is supposed to go!
I'm sorry, Dad. It's just I've been really preoccupied lately.
(When the Goth kids change into normal clothes.)
Well... at least no one can refer to us as vampire kids now.
[A football rolls in front of them.]
FKFootball kid
It went this way.
FKFootball kid 2
Yeah, it's over there by that fat girl, the big nosed kid, the midget and the kid with pock marks on his face.
[The first kid goes over to the collect the ball, then leaves.]
So we're back to that, are we?
Let's get outta these freaking Gap clothes.
(When the Goth kids kidnap Mike and are trying to decide what to do with him.)
How about we send him to Transylvania?
Nah, he'd probably see it as something to brag about someday to his little vampire buddies.
If we're gonna send him somewhere it should be the most horrible, most miserable place on Earth.
[Pause]
[Meanwhile… at the Stotch house; Stephen and Linda are upstairs, standing outside of Butters' room after getting a call from Liane when Butters snuck into Cartman's room and gave him a hickey]
[knocking on the door] Butters, we just got a call from Mrs. Cartman. Butters? [rattles the door handle and finds it locked] Unbelievable! He's locked the door!
[rattling the handle and pounds on the door] Butters, this is your father! Explain why you snuck into another boy's bedroom and gave him a hickey!
Well, do you mind telling me why there's Rice-A-Roni in my coffee?!
Butters, you are grounded!
Ah, dangit! [gets off the sofa and goes upstairs to his room in annoyance]
It worked, Linda. Our son is groundable once more.
