[turning on the camera; frightfully] I've got the video camera. Got it turned on again. Okay. This is Randy Marsh. I'm shooting this video of myself. 20 minutes ago, some huge creatures attacked our town. There's still chaos out the window. [pans the camera to the window where all the people are screaming and running] I barely made it back to the house. Sharon is here with me, and there's Shelley. Wave to the camera, Shelley.
Randy, will you put down that camera? We need to figure out what to do!
I don't know what to do. I'm so startled.
[Randy, Sharon, and Shelley are on the roof of Best Buy with the Stotches]
[filming] Here's Sharon and Shelley on the roof of Best Buy. We… We ran up here to get off the streets. We found the Stotch family hiding up here also. [pans the camera to the Stotches] There's Chris and Linda, and their son, Butters.
[waves to the camera] Hello. [chuckles]
[A sound of buzzing is heard and starts increasing]
What is that? Chris, what is that?
Oh, that's a--that's a new sound.
SStephen (Chris)
[points to something up in the sky] Oh, God, look!
Those aren't guinea pigs!
SStephen (Chris)
Get off the roof!
[following them as they get off the roof and run down the stairs] Go! Go, go, go, go, go! Oh, God. Going down the stairs now. Okay, getting down the stairs!
[They reach the main floor and a news report is shown in the television aisle as they head to the entrance]
AAnchorman
And we are now getting word of giant bees. The giant bees have been seen in the U.S. and Europe.
Get away! There's bees everywhere! There's another one right there!
[pans the camera to a giant guinea bee] OH, MY GOD!!!
T2Townsman #2
[on the ground, with a stinger stabbed in his chest] It stung me! IT STUNG ME!
SStephen (Chris)
Look, I think we need to find a way out under the city.
In the sewers? It can't be safe down there!
Oh, God. What are gonna do?
[A crashing sound is heard and some people start screaming]
Something's inside the store!
MMan
Guinea rabbits! They're inside!
[Two guinea rabbits surround a man being bitten in half]
WWoman
[screaming in horror] TRAVIS! NO!
(It's too late!) You can't help him!
What do you think about the Guinea-saurus Rex, Shelley? Oh, that's good. There's Shelley with the Guinea-saurus Rex in the background. Give… give a little peace sign, Shelly. Oh, I know, hold out your palm so it looks like you're holding the Guinea-saurus Rex. Shelley?
[finally having enough; furiously] RANDY! I HAVE HAD IT! YOU ARE PUTTING DOWN THAT GODDAMN CAMERA!
Sharon, you're gonna be really glad we have all this footage of the family, someday.
[Sharon angrily screams and smacks the camera out of Randy's hands]
MCMichael Chertoff
Damn you, Craig! You just don't ever stop, do you?!
MCMichael Chertoff
You see, for thousands of years, horrid creatures have lived in the guinea valley of Peru. The Incas learned how to keep the creatures at bay, by playing pan flute music. Guinea creatures hate it even more than humans do. But the prophecy foretold that one day, the creatures would be unleashed and I have made that happen! The Incas predicted the world would be saved… by Craig. But that part of the prophecy will not come true! For you will all die on this mountain!
