Get out of my room, Kyle! I'm on my computer!
I just wanted to see if maybe you want to do fingerpaints with me.
Do I look like I wanna do fuckin' fingerpaints?! Look at the fuckin' zits on my face!
Ike, I just want us to be friends again.
Then stop harassing me, bro! You don't know what it's like to be a baby goin' through puberty! I don't know whether to watch Yo Gabba Gabba or go out and tame some strange!
Yeah, let's watch Yo Gabba Gabba, like old times.
Get out of my room, Kyle! I'm playing trucks!
Ike, I'm sorry, but I couldn't get us out of school Friday. I can't take you to Yo Gabba Gabba Live.
I couldn't get in to see the principal, Ike.
Well what am I supposed to do, go see it myself?! I'm a little baby! Who's gonna hold my fuckin' hand?! You don't give a shit about how I feel!
You just love pushing me around! Is that what you wanna do, Kyle?! Kick the baby?! Well alrighty bro! Come on, Kyle! Kick the baby! Come on bro! Kick the fuckin' baby! Let's see you try it, wuss!
CHCanadian Healthcare Administrator
It was a mistake.
CHCanadian Healthcare Administrator
Trying to reform Canada's healthcare system and being too stubborn to admit it wasn't working. Even when my wife said the system was too complicated, I wouldn't listen.
HWHis wife
Oh, Terry, I was just trying to get your attention. I'm sorry I queefed in your face.
CHCanadian Healthcare Administrator
I deserved it. Anyone who thinks streamlining healthcare into an integrated computer system would go smoothly deserves a giant queef in their face.
[enters the living room] Ike?
Kyle! It's Dora the Explorer!
DDora
Come on, let's climb the mountain.
It sure is. Do you want me to watch it with you, Ike?
[Kyle joins him on the sofa]
DDora
We made it all the way to the top.
Oh man, I wouldn't mind hittin' that. I bet she's got that hot Pureto Rican strange.
[enters the principal's office where Mr. Mackey, Principal Victoria, and three Israel rabbis are all waiting] What's going on?
Kyle, these men have apparently come all the way from Israel to speak with me, but... we need a translator.
Kyle, please try your best. It seems pretty important.
Wizard Cartman, I started watching Game of Thrones.
Ah, yes, paladin Butters. Are you enjoying it?
Well, it's pretty good, I guess, but have you ever noticed that almost ever time they show a guy's weiner, that guy's character is gay?
Well, it's just that they have a lot of girls' boobs and vaginas and stuff, but most times they show a guy's weiner it's because that guy is in love scenes with another guy. You think it's because gay weiners are less threatening to women viewers?
I believe you might be missing the greater point of the show, paladin Butters.
Yeah, I know - winter is going and there's dragons and zombies on the way; I'm pretty excited for that. Just could do with a little less gay weiner is all.
[Butters and Scott visit George R. R. Martin ]
GRGeorge R. R. Martin
It's the Red Wedding, isn't it? You hate how I killed everyone off?
Uh, no sir, we just really need to know about the dragons, but they never seem to show up.
GRGeorge R. R. Martin
Oh, they're coming; the dragons are on their way.
GRGeorge R. R. Martin
You really wanna know?
GRGeorge R. R. Martin
All right. King Joffrey is still at King's Landing, but there is a young blacksmith who wakes up one morning with a plan. And his weiner gently hangs down between his legs, soft and flaccid, his weiner glistens in the golden sunlight...
No! No! Can we just skip the weiner stuff and just get to the dragons?
[winces painfully] Aw shit, I think I'm... I think I'm gonna faint.
Uh, what's the matter, Scott?
I told you, I have to eat every two hours.
GRGeorge R. R. Martin
Oh Jeez, uh, why don't you kids come out from the cold? I'll order some pizzas.
GRGeorge R. R. Martin
Come on in! I'll tell you everything that's gonna happen in "Game of Thrones".
GRGeorge R. R. Martin
...So then Samwell Tarly sees the army approaching, and his wiener is about this big...He knows that Stannis Baratheon's wiener is probably shriveled from the cold. Samwell has to rally his men, so what does he do? He takes out his wiener...
[Martin unzips his pants and demonstrates his story]
GRGeorge R. R. Martin
...and he dangles it around for all his men to see.
[Martin shakes his hips and pretends his wiener is a bell]
[turns away, disgusted] AAAH!
OOAH! Uh, sir, you said pizzas were coming!
GRGeorge R. R. Martin
Yeah yeah, they're on their way. They're still coming. So Samwell's wiener goes...
[Martin shakes his hips around, as if his wiener were a bell and makes sounds for it]
But you said they were on their way like three hours ago!
If I don't get pizza soon, I'm goin' to pass out.
GRGeorge R. R. Martin
Don't worry. They're coming. Pizzas are on their way. They're gonna be amazing. Now, Jon Snow finally faces Jaime Lannister, and this guy's wiener is, you know, huge, right? So it's not goin' to be easy.
You guys wanna play outside or something?
Cartman? Your side won, dude. Why are you so sad?
I just... I can't get that image of Bill Gates bashing that guy's head apart out of my eyes.
Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, look guys: Xbox won the console wars. What are we gonna do? Not play video games?
The last few weeks we've been too busy to play video games and look at what we did. There's been drama, action, romance. I mean, honestly you guys - do we need video games to play?
Yeah, you kind of make a point.
Maybe we started to rely on Microsoft and Sony so much that we forgot that all we need to play are the simplest things! Like... like this! [picks up a broken wooden stick] We can play with this! Screw video games, dude; who fucking needs them?
[everybody shouts, "YEAH!"]
Fuck 'em! [holds the stick up to the sun]
CACommercial announcer
The South Park video game. Coming to stores soon!
[an image of the years-in-development real life game, South Park: The Stick of Truth, appears on screen]
[appearing in the lower left-hand corner of the screen] Yeah, and if you believe that, I got a big floppy wiener to dangle in your face.
[referring to Butters turning down a fat girl whom asked him out] What the fuck is your problem?!
Are you some kind of asshole? Is that it?
[looking himself over] Well, no - I have arms and legs and everything.
Lisa Berger asked you out, and you called her fat?! Do you have any idea how you made her feel?! She's a really nice girl!
[Butters, Kenny, Tweek, Craig and Clyde make fun of Lisa. Cartman does not join their laughter]
You guys, come on. That's not kewl. You shouldn't rip on her because she's fat. You should rip on her 'cause she's ugly. Okay? She looks like someone hit her in the face with a hot shovel, and that's why she sucks, alright?
