[The real Mr. Krabs, still without his shell, is going back into his house, trying to make sure no one sees him as he does so.]
Haha! I made it! [suddenly, the lights turn on]
Ew, Daddy! [Pearl's friends are having a slumber party] You're naked and ruining my cheerleader's slumber party! [she covers her eyes, as Mr. Krabs screams and tries to cover himself]
PSPearl's friends
[cheerleading] Hey, hey, hey, Mr. K! We don't want to see your booty today!
[Mr. Krabs screams and runs upstairs and looks for something to wear.]
Okay, I know that spare is in here somewhere. [rummages through his wardrobes and finds a shirt] Aha! [the shirt is too small] Ew, haven't worn this one in a while. Eh, well it'll just have to do. I'm coming, me precious Puff! [runs out the door, only to be spotted by Pearl and her friends again, who scream]
[while knocking on the door] Barnacles! Open up, yo- you- Huh. Aha! [Mr. Krabs laughs and grunts while going through the mail slot. Then, he falls into a puddle. Mr. Krabs notices an open window and climbs towards it; muttering] Ugh, and I told him to check the windows, didn't I?
[on the phone] Patrick, you've gotta come over to Krabs' place. Someone's trying to break in! [Patrick mumbles] Uh, SquarePants. [Patrick mumbles again] SpongeBob SquarePants. [Patrick mumbles again] No, you're Patrick! [a realistic close-up of SpongeBob's face] Please hurry.
[Mr. Krabs keeps climbing towards the window. Then, he notices Patrick jumping in puddles with his boots.] Huh? Patrick? What's that pink clown doing here? Eh, who cares? SpongeBob will never open the door for him.
[Patrick gets to the door] Beep, beep, [Patrick removes his boots] beep.
Great horn spoon! How's he doing that?
[Patrick puts his butt through the mail slot while SpongeBob pulls from the other side of the door. They both crash into the wall.]
[laughs] Thank goodness you don't have any bones, buddy.
Nope, all blubber. [close-up on Patrick while he laughs]
[amazed by the reflection] Whoa, those dudes are huge! I wonder what they lift. [hits Bubble Bass slightly with his elbow]
[notices the reflection and drops his drink in fear] Those aren't dudes. They're giant monsters! [screaming] EVERYBODY PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!! [the three start panicking and run around in circles, Louie is biting SpongeBob, and their ruckus causes the lighthouse to start rocking. At the same time, Mrs. Puff is still listening and rocking to the rock music, unaware of what's going on outside. The lighthouse tips over and rolls out of the boating school. Larry, Bubble Bass, and the small fish are still panicking until they see that the reflection is gone]
[happy] Those buff monsters have vanished! [hugs the other two] We're saved! [he and the other two hear some noise, and realize the lighthouse is coming their way]
We're doomed! [gets out his drink and starts walking across the sidewalk away from the lighthouse, while the other two runoff in a different direction. The lighthouse runs over him, causing him to get submerged into the sidewalk with his posterior sticking out] My cheeks!
[Bikini Bottom News plays, showing Perch Perkins having an interview with Fred about the lighthouse.]
Can you please tell our viewers the cause of this destruction?
[frightened] It was a lighthouse. It rolled through town, destroying everything in its path! [pants] A lighthouse! [goes on his knees and starts crying]
PPPerchy Perkins
[shocked] My goodness. Were you or YOUR LEGS injured by this insane lighthouse?
[sad and kicks a rock] No.
Gal Pals, we have to save SpongeBob!
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
[whimpering] Gal Pals. [The girls break through the front door to rescue SpongeBob. But, to their relief and surprise, the old lady turns out to be a sales lady giving SpongeBob pinecones on a stick.]
Wow! [the old lady gives SpongeBob a pinecone on a stick] Ooh, another pinecone on a stick! I love it. [takes it and gets another one from the old lady] Wow! [takes another pinecone on a stick] I'm gonna get one of these for each of the Gal Pals.
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
[confused] Huh?
[laughs in relief] It's only a cabin-to-cabin country sales lady. Not Flibberty Gibbet at all.
FGFlibberty Gibbet
[off-screen] Did someone say my name? [the girls turn and see her for real this time] Hi, gals!
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
Flibberty Gibbet! [scream in horror as they run out of the cabin and into the woods]
FGFlibberty Gibbet
I—I just wanted to say all's forgiven!
[follows the girls] Hey, wait! You'll need my lucky peanut!
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
Gal Pals! [crash onto the screen] [The words "The End" is shown and the episode ends.]
Oh, the Chum Bucket's the only place in town still selling chum, but I can't go crawling to Plankton for help. No, I won't. I got too much pride for that. [cuts to Mr. Krabs invading Plankton's trash can, looking for some chum] Oh, come on, there's gotta be some chum in here somewhere!
[comes out with a flashlight] Hello? [Mr. Krabs hides behind the trash can] Who's out there?
[comes out with a bat] All right, miscreant, come over here where I can destroy you! [swings the bat around, but gets crushed by it]
[Mr. Krabs attempts to escape, but Karen catches him.]
KPKaren & Plankton
Krabs??
What are you doing here? [crawls out from under his bat]
Nothing, nothing! I, uh, [takes the shoe out of his mouth] lost my shoe! See? Found it. [laughs] Okay, bye. [his stomach growls loudly]
[suspiciously] Hold it. What's going on with you, Krabs? Your clothes are a mess and your stomach's making strange noises.
[wears the shoe] What are you talking—I'm... [stammers until he gives in] Oh, fine! [throws away the shoe] I'm hooked on chum, okay?!
Say what?! [his skeleton falls out in shock]
Look at me now! Digging through garbage for scraps! [sobs uncontrollably]
[The episode begins at the Chum Bucket where Plankton struggles to build his new invention.]
Karen, can you give me a hand with my new Dodanatron?
Sorry Sheldon, I'm off to visit my Motherboard. [leaves the Chum Bucket]
[gasps, runs after Karen] Wait! How am I supposed to get anything done without you?
Don't worry, I put up Help Wanted flyers for an intern. See? [throws intern flyer, and it flies until it hits Plankton's eye]
[sees flyer] Ooh. "INTERN WANTED." Apply today at Chum Bucket Labs? [crumbles flyer] I'm a mad scientist! If getting help was that easy, I wouldn't have built a computer wife!
PPerson
Is this where I apply for the intern job?
[Plankton sees the newly-formed line for his new intern job and gets an exhausted look on his face. Bubble transition to inside the Chum Bucket.]
Ahem. Hello and welcome to Chum Bucket Labs. As an intern, you will gain valuable work experience and a sub-minimum wage. [the crowd sighs and leaves, leaving only Patrick] Well that narrowed it down.
[quietly] Oh boy. [bubble transition] Okay, let's see how ya handle scientific equipment. This is my Duplo Maker! It's very, very simple.
[takes out a coin] Just put this coin in the chamber-
Gotcha! [grabs the coin and squishes Plankton]
Ow! No! Just the coin, you idiot! [gasps as Patrick steps inside the machine]
[The Duplo Maker creates a ton of Patrick doubles. It is no longer duplicating, as the door opens and many Patrick clones appear. Plankton then screams and runs as a Patrick double tries to land on him, but fails.]
PCPatrick clones
Do we get the job?
I'll tell ya what ya get. [takes out a remote] You get out! [pushes the button on the remote, and a robot hand with a glove smacks the Patrick clones out of the Chum Bucket]
PCPatrick clone #1
Hi, I'm Patrick.
PCPatrick clone #2
No, I'm Patrick.
PCPatrick clone #3
Who's Patrick?
Well, great. Not a single applicant left.
[shouting as his iris turns into a whale] Whale! [Pearl steps closer to him as he climbs up to his desk] No! Not you! Whales eat Plankton!
I don't eat Plankton. That's baby food. I'm just here for the job.
Really? You're not gonna eat me?
Eww, no! I just need money, but my dad's such a skinflint with my allowance.
Alright, you're hired. Whatever.
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob walking to the Krusty Krab, exhausted.]
[tired] For my buddy Patrick. [Patrick is shown eating a poster, holding a winner trophy] I did it, pal. I silenced every bell in town so that you will no longer have a tantrum, buddy.
Aww. [picks up SpongeBob] Thank you, best friend. [hugs SpongeBob]
[injured, holding money] I don't care about bells ringing or conditioning customers anymore, 'cause I've got a million dollars! [laughs as he puts the money in the register. He then presses a button on the register in slow motion, causing it to ring; in slow motion] Uh-oh.
[Patrick drops SpongeBob and starts to have another tantrum, breaking the trophy, and kicking the tables and chairs. Mr. Krabs holds SpongeBob in front of him. Patrick bangs the register open, and starts ripping the money to shreds.]
HHerb
[he and Margie appear] Hello, son. We saw you fighting today.
MMargie
On the TV. We're so proud.
Oh, hi, Mr. and Mrs. Star. I know you are loving parents, but you really messed up your kids by ringing a bell whenever it was time for his bath.
MMargie
Bell? We never rang a bell.
[stops having a tantrum] You never rang a bell?
HHerb
No, don't you remember? We would squeeze your rubber duck.
HHerb
Yes. [holds up the rubber duck] This one.
[takes the rubber duck and holds it]
Aw, kinda gets you right in your heart's kitchen, doesn't it, Mr. Krabs?
Well, I think I can tape it all back together. [close-up of a taped-up dollar bill]
Ducky. I wonder if it still quacks. [squeezes the duck, and it quacks, triggering another tantrum, breaking stuff off-screen]
[holding a jar of jellyfish jelly] Oh, here we go again! [laughs and runs after Patrick]
[The kid on the tricycle with the chimpanzee TV appears outside, and the camera irises out as the episode ends.]
[SpongeBob and Squidward are in the cellar of Bubble Bass' home, which is like the game, Three Deadly Challenges]
Wow. A life-size version of the Three Deadly Challenges. Beautiful.
Looks like a hobo campground.
No, Squidward. You have to look with your imagination. [waves his hand across the screen, revealing a more fantasy-like landscape]
What the? No! [ruins the fantasy landscape with his tentacles] It's a dump!
Thou art two oozing cysts on the hind side of a plague dog's nose.
The colorful insults are the best part of the game.
That figures. Hmm. [walks to where Bubble Bass is along with SpongeBob] So how do you win this goofball game, anyway?
Since Bubble Bass challenged us, all we have to do is get close enough to tag him out. We get three chances, or should I say three challenges.
Oh, boy! [he and Squidward grab a sword] Look, Squidward! [slashes with a cardboard sword a few times]
Oh, this feels stupid. [sighs]
[SpongeBob keeps giving Krabby Patties to the crowd]
[SpongeBob throws two Krabby Patty's in Fred's face; two more customers shout for SpongeBob, and they get their patties as well]
I'm a patty launching machine! [laughing]
[takes the patties off his eyes] Thank you, Patty boy.
It was nothing. [realizes his launcher is empty] Nothing! I'm outta patties! Well, I guess I just better make some more. [goes into the tray and works]
[keeps working until he comes back out] Fresh hot Krabby Patties here! Put a patty in your piehole! Huh? [looks at the state of the people] Awww... Looks like I fed my entire section. Hmm... [notes other people in the other half starving] Well, I guess Squidward wouldn't mind if I sell a few patties in his section. [goes over to the other side]
I don't know what a pink plonker is, but I don't like it! [punches Animatronic Hieronymus with his tongue, knocking his head off]
AHAnimatronic Hieronymus Glove
Aaaaaaaaah!
[attaches himself to Animatronic Hieronymus's body] Ooh! Hey! I like this body better than mine... it comes with pockets!
AHAnimatronic Hieronymus Glove
I like my new body too! [walks up using Patrick's body which he struggles to control] But I still want that head! [tries to fight Patrick]
I said I was sorry, you weirdo! [they continue fighting, and knock each other's heads off. The heads keep fighting on the ground and SpongeBob jumps to avoid them while the toddler laughs and claps]
HGHieronymus Glove
Enough! [the heads stop fighting, and the real Hieronymus Glove, stuck in a block of ice, rolls up to them while a pair of servants sweep the ground in front of him] No, no, this won't do at all! Put those heads back on their bodies post-haste! [the servants toss their brooms aside and walk towards the group] Splendid!
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Wow! [the servants put Patrick's head back on his body] Are you the real Hieronymus Glove?
AHAnimatronic Hieronymus Glove
[the servants put Animatronic Hieronymus's head back on his body] No, he's not, I'm the real Hieronymus Glove!
HGHieronymus Glove
Hahahaha, splendid! Do wipe that one's memory bank before he does more damage to my park. Thank you! [one of the servants whacks Patrick's head with a giant wrench] Not him, the other one!
AHAnimatronic Hieronymus Glove
Hmm? [the servant whacks Animatronic Hieronymus's head with the wrench] Ow! Re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-- and that's why we wear gloves on our hands and not our knees! Haha... [powers down and falls over. The servants catch him and carry him away]
HGHieronymus Glove
Splendid! I'm afraid I'm the real Hieronymus Glove, and I'm at your service.
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
We love your gloves!
HGHieronymus Glove
Splendid! And since being terrorized by our robots has never been Glove World policy, you are all hereby released from Glove Jail!
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
We've been pardoned! Splendid!
HGHieronymus Glove
Splendid! And for proving yourselves to be unselfish and kind, I'm going to give all of Glove World to the both of you!
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Ahhhhhh! [the servants weld crowns to SpongeBob and Patrick's heads] Really?
HGHieronymus Glove
Of course not! Hahahahaha! I may be cryogenically frozen, but I'm not a loony! [they all laugh, and the floor rises up to take them back to Glove World as Hieronymus begins singing] ♪Well, that concludes our show and as you can see, there still is nothing quite like gloves!
Until we meet again for a shopping spree, where I hope you buy all kinds of gloves to love!
With the handy help of SpongeBob and Patrick, we defeated my crazy robot head!
Now that the twit is gone...♪
AHAnimatronic Hieronymus Glove
[singing] ♪Glove World can carry on!♪
HGHieronymus Glove
[singing] ♪And the toddler can go to bed. Goodnight!♪
[SpongeBob and Patrick fall asleep as the curtains go down. The toddler jumps out of their arms and runs off, waking them up.]
Hey! [they go running after him]
Come back here, little guy!
I saved you a Ham Fist! [the second act, and the entire episode, ends with a cut to black]
