Sandy quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

Sandy

Back in Texas, we call ice cream "frozen cow juice."

Sandy

Sic 'im, Pearl! Sorry, sorry, Squidward!

Sandy

Well I do like breathing, I'll take the whole case!

Sandy

"Yee-haw!"

SpongeBob

Hey, you like karate too. So, what's your name?

Sandy

Sandy. So what do y'all call yourself?

SpongeBob

I'm SpongeBob.

Sandy

Well, SpongeBob, take a gander at this. [breaks a rock into pieces]

SpongeBob

Oh. Oh, yeah? Watch this! [makes armpit fart noises]

Sandy

I like you, SpongeBob. Why, we could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-yah!

SpongeBob

Uh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-yah! Ow. Say, what is that thing on your head?

Sandy

Why, that's my air helmet.

SpongeBob

May I try it on?

Sandy

Heck no. I need it to breathe. I gotta have my air.

SpongeBob

Me too. I love air. Air is good.

Sandy

No kidding?

SpongeBob

Why, "air" is my middle name. The more air, the better. Can't get enough of that air.

Sandy

Shee-oot. How about comin' over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? Don't be late.

SpongeBob

Okay, see you tomorrow.

SpongeBob

Oh, no. Everybody's gone, even Sandy. She'd rather hang out with Larry. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. [weeps] We blew it, pants.

What do you mean "we"?

SpongeBob

Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention. Am I the biggest loser on the beach?!

No, I am. I forgot to put on sunscreen.

SpongeBob

Ouch.

No, I am. I got sand in my buns.

No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach. They buried me in the sand and forgot me.

What happened to you?

SpongeBob

I lost my best friend.

How?

SpongeBob

When I ripped... my pants. [starts to sing] I thought that I had everybody by my side, but I went and blew it all sky-high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance, all just because I ripped my pants.

♪When big Larry came round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and ripped his pants!♪

SpongeBob

[singing voice, a crowd begins to gather] ♪I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse, but the pain feels so much worse. 'Cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun...♪

♪Or sand in your buns!♪

SpongeBob

♪I learned a lesson I won't soon forget...so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself; don't miss your chance...and you won't end up like the fool...who...ripped...his...pants!♪

Sandy

SpongeBob!

SpongeBob

Sandy!

Sandy

Your song is true. If y'all want to be my friend, just be yourself.

SpongeBob, that was so righteous. Would you...sign my pants?

SpongeBob

Absolutely, buddy.

SpongeBob

Nice try, Sandy.

Patrick

Or should I say "Mrs. Alien Pants"? [laughs]

Sandy

Aliens? Is that what this is about? [SpongeBob and Patrick throw Sandy in the rocket] This isn't the moon! We're still in Bikini Bot-- [door is slammed shut]

SpongeBob

It just goes to show you: you can't trust anyone. [he and Patrick stare at each other, run off, and pump their guns] So, you were an alien all the time, and you didn't even tell me!

Patrick

I didn't even know!

SpongeBob

Well, I've got you now!

Patrick

Oh, but it's not you that's got me. It's... [fires his pop-gun, but traps himself instead] ...me that's got me.

SpongeBob

Boy, I can’t wait to see the look on Sandy’s face. [starts up the engine crashing to the moon] Sandy, I'm back! [peeks out the window] Wow, Bikini Bottom sure looks different. [sees the Earth and realizes his mistake] Uh-oh...

SpongeBob, we aliens would like a word with you!

Squidward

[about SpongeBob, who has decided to go live in the wild] He took off his pants...

Sandy

I'll give him a week.

Squidward

I'll give him 11 minutes.

Patrick

[on the verge of tears] Patrick Sad!

Sandy

Here, Patrick, have a Krabby Patty! [whispers] There he is Patrick, say your line!

Patrick

[reading script] Why, thank you, Sandy, I would love one. (Take patty.) [takes the patty] Too bad SpongeBob isn't here, these are his favorites. I sure wish he'd come home! (Take...bite...) [tries to but can't] I can't do it! SpongeBob, come back!

SpongeBob

Patrick, I'm not coming home.

Patrick

I miss you! Sandy misses you! Even Squidward misses you!

SpongeBob

Well, that's over. Back to jellyfish matters. [a drop of jelly lands on SpongeBob nose. He samples it] Mmm, jelly. [eats a lot of jelly as the jellyfish come back toward the hive] Ah, my jellyfish brethren are returning! [jellyfish buzz into the hive] Greetings, comrades!

SpongeBob

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. [says "Buzz" fourteen more times as he walks up to the Krusty Krab door with a "Closed" sign and sees a plate full of Krabby Patties on a table] Krabby Patties. Buzz. Buzz. [walks past Sandy's treedome, then he sniffles] Sandy. [still saying "Buzz," walks up to his pineapple] What have I done? I had a great life and friends, and I gave all of that up.

Welcome home, SpongeBob! [Squidward blows a party blower]

SpongeBob

You guys are the best! I made a huge mistake. Please forgive me!

Ah, quit your blubbering and have a Krabby Patty. [hands him a Krabby Patty]

SpongeBob

Don't mind if I do. [eats it as Mr. Krabs places his Krusty Crew hat on his head]

And I'll see you at work first thing tomorrow morning.

SpongeBob

[salutes] Aye, aye, captain!

Squidward

SpongeBob, do us all a favor. [hands SpongeBob his pants]

SpongeBob

Don't mind if I do! [puts on his pants] Ta-dah. [hugs Squidward] Aww.

Squidward

Okay, that's enough. [everyone else hugs SpongeBob and Squidward]

Gary

Meow.

Squidward

Could we please stop this? [everyone except SpongeBob starts to feel something]

Patrick

Patrick itchy! [everyone but SpongeBob starts to scratch themselves and crawl on the floor]

SpongeBob

It is great to be home!

SpongeBob

Ah, that was fun and all, but it's good to be back in my own dream cloud. [goes to sleep] Ah... [wakes up after hearing his friends voices and faces hovering around his head]

Squidward

[his head starts circling SpongeBob] SpongeBob! [the heads of Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Gary, Plankton, Pearl and Patrick start surrounding SpongeBob]

SpongeBob!

SpongeBob

[tossing and turning in his sleep] What do you want from me? Leave me alone! No, no... No, no, no, no, no, no! [Squidward nudged and tapped SpongeBob and he wakes up]

Squidward

SpongeBob!

SpongeBob

[screams, then sees his friends stand around his bed, except Patrick] Hey, what are you all doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?

Squidward

No. We are not having a slumber party!

Sandy

Do us all a favor, SpongeBob, and stay out of our dreams!

[grumble in agreement]

Take a hike!

Squidward

Don't we get enough of you during the day?

Gary

[in anger] Meow!

Patrick

[walks in] Does anyone have a quarter? [all stare at Patrick]

SpongeBob

I better take care of this before it gets out of hand. [calls Sandy]

Sandy

[answers phone] Hello?

SpongeBob

Sandy, I'm sick. Can you escort me to the doctor's?

Sandy

Sure, SpongeBob. I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August-

SpongeBob

[on the phone] Okay Sandy, thanks! [sneezes through the phone] Achoo!

SpongeBob

Dr. Patrick, could you call Sandy for me? [gives Patrick the phone]

Patrick

Sure, patient SpongeBob! [Patrick calls Sandy, who is about to head out for SpongeBob's place] Hello, Sandy?

Sandy

Hiya, Patrick!

Patrick

I'm calling on behalf of my patient, SpongeBob.

Sandy

I'm on my way over to take him to the hospital.

Patrick

Uhh, uhh, that will no longer be required! He is in my care as of today.

Sandy

Well, I'm coming over to take a look. I'll be over there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot-

Patrick

Oh, yeah, yeah, the rabbit. Don't bother, Sandy! [hangs up] SpongeBob, quick, Sandy's coming! We gotta make sure you're well, or she'll take ya to the doctor! [runs to the kitchen with rubber gloves on and dips them into the sink of water] Don't touch me, I'm sterile!

Sandy

Patrick, you open this door. [Patrick is rolling SpongeBob away] Patrick, sometimes I just don't understand you. [SpongeBob sneezes] Hey! [walks over to Patrick's house] Okay, Patrick, where's SpongeBob?

Patrick

Uhh, uhh, he's not here at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep.

Sandy

Okay, now tell me, [shows two rocks] since when do you have two houses?

Patrick

Since I ran out of space to put my stuff.

Sandy

Uh-huh, yeah. Since when does your house have feet? [SpongeBob's feet are sticking out of the other rock]

Patrick

This is my mobile home. [SpongeBob sneezes the rock off]

SpongeBob

Hiya, Sandy.

Patrick

[holding SpongeBob's hand] Hmmm, the dirt therapy seems to be working just fine.

Sandy

Patrick, SpongeBob has to see a real doctor.

Patrick

No, he doesn't! I'm taking good care of him! Show her, SpongeBob! Say 'ahh'.

SpongeBob

Ahh... [exhales a green gas that kills all the plants, clams, and everything else in its path]

Sandy

See? He's even worse than I thought.

Patrick

[wearing a clothespin on his non-existing nose] What do you mean? He's fine. [Sandy snatches the clothespin off of his nose]

SpongeBob

I'm okay, Sandy, really. [sneezes again, enlarging himself more]

Sandy

I'm taking you to the doctor right now! [rolls SpongeBob away]

Patrick

Hey, that's my patient! [runs over and pushes SpongeBob the opposite way] You can't take him to the doctor's!

Sandy

[rolling SpongeBob the other way again] Don't be silly, Patrick!

Patrick

[carrying SpongeBob the other way] He's mine! [Sandy is log rolling SpongeBob the opposite way]

Sandy

SpongeBob, you'll be better soon. [Patrick is using a wheelbarrow for SpongeBob]

Patrick

I'll save you! [Sandy is using SpongeBob as a basketball]

SpongeBob

I'm better, guys! Really! [Sandy and Patrick both push him into each other, squeezing him until he launches into the air]

Sandy

Now look what you've done, Patrick!

Patrick

What I've done? Everything was fine until you showed up!

Sandy

You should be arrested for impersonating a doctor!

Patrick

Hey! I'm a good doctor! Right, SpongeBob? [SpongeBob comes down and rolls away]

SpongeBob

Guys!

Sandy

Huh?

Patrick

SpongeBob?

SpongeBob

I can't stop! [screams while he rolls down a hill] Help me! [Mr. Krabs is cleaning some dimes]

Shiny dimes.

SpongeBob

Mr. Krabs!

SpongeBob? [runs out the front doors] Stop, SpongeBob! Stop...!

Sandy

Howdy, Patrick!

Patrick

[finally turns around] Hi, Sandy! [notices the giant chocolate balloon, then is confused and speaks gibberish]

SpongeBob

Happy Valentine's Day, Patrick! [Patrick jumps for joy and jumps on the balloon]

Patrick

Yay! My valentine! Hey, is this solid chocolate?

SpongeBob

Patrick, no! [Patrick bites the balloon and chocolate explodes everywhere. SpongeBob and Patrick are in the mess and Patrick forgets his anger]

Patrick

Aw, SpongeBob... you didn't have to get me anything.