The martians are coming! Run for your lives! You’re next! You’re next!
S10Whirly Brains
S10Mermaid Pants
Sad! [Patrick and Mr. Krabs get a slap fight] Pathetic! [Squidward accidentally stops the fighting for Patrick and Mr. Krabs] Mediocre! [SpongeBob falls down, then hits the ground] Sup-Par!
S10Unreal Estate
Oh, that house was too dangerous for you. [feels his head hurt] Ow. Besides, it was just a house, but this is a castle with a moat and everything.
It's a long way from Bikini Bottom.
I know.
Huh?
I mean, don't worry about it. It's a short 11-hour commute to the Krusty Krab from here.
S10Code Yellow
NNurse
You can't dump your garbage here, sir
Oh, that's not garbage. That's my friend, Squidward. We're here to check in. [removes the trashcan off of Squidward, and his nose is covered with garbage]
NNurse
Holy nostroly! You must be here for the nose job. Let's, uh… get your paperwork filled out.
S10Mimic Madness
[imitating the French Narrator as he reads the time card] 80,000 impressions later...
Would you please stop imitating me? It is starting to get very annoying.
[SpongeBob is hiding in a dark cave where is body is morphed into an owl and starts singing]
♪Who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who? Who... am I?
[jumps to a cave mirror and morphs into a question mark] Who am I? [morphs into a pineapple] I just can't remember.
[morphs into Pearl] Who am I? [imitates Pearl] I just can't recall.
[morphs into a handsome man and imitates him] Who am I to sing this somber song? When you've got six heads, there's something wrong.
[morphs into five of his friends] Who am I? [imitates his friends] Please tell me. [normal] Who am I? [imitates his friends] Do you know me?
[morphs into a female fish] My name could be Clementine [morphs into Fred] or it could be Freddie.
[morphs into two SpongeBobs] I just can't recognize myself. I don't know if I'm ready. [imitating his friends in a barber shop quintet] I'm ready!
[normal] Who am I? [morphs into a male fish] I have a right to know. [normal] Who am I? Am I friend... [morphs into Plankton and imitates him] or foe?
[normal] I have so many features. It makes it hard to tell. I don't know what my first name is. But my faces ring a bell.
[imitates Squidward] Who am I? [bell dings] [imitates Mr. Krabs] Who am I? [bell dings] [imitates Patrick] Who am I? [bell dings] [imitates Plankton] Who am I? [bell dings] [normal] Who am I? [phone rings] Hello?♪
CCaller
Hello. To whom am I speaking?
♪I... don't...! Know...♪
[As SpongeBob's song ends, his face shrivels]
S10Snooze You Lose
[The episode begins at nighttime. Squidward, who appears to be very tired, is getting ready to go to bed]
Oh, why can't I get to sleep? Let's try it again. [sighs] Warm milk. [drinks milk] White noise machine. [turns on the noise machine and it blows bubbles out. He groans as he closes his eyes. His eyelids say "10 Grit" on them. Then he wakes up] Dim lights. [turns off lights and groans; sings] ♪ Sleep, little Squidward, catch some winks / Everything and everybody clearly stinks ♪ [shuts his eyes, curls up in his bed, and tries to go to sleep. Suddenly, a loud belch is heard and a startled Squidward screams and clings on the ceiling with his suction cups]
[At SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing while having a sleepover]
[chugs down a liter of soda and swallows it. His bottom begins to bubble up] Oh, yeah! Fizz Bomb Cola!
Fire in the hole!
[SpongeBob's body bubbles up and he makes a really loud belch. SpongeBob and Patrick laugh]
[yelling] Hey! Will you two psychopaths keep it down?!
Oh, hi, Squidward. How ya doing?
Horrible! I haven't slept for three days!
[grabs Squidward's hand and shakes it] Hey, that's great!
It is not great! [pulls back his hand] I've got an audition with the Bikini Bottom Philharmonic Orchestra tomorrow morning, and I'm a nervous wreck!
[appears behind Squidward] Why don't you try taking a walk? Works for me.
You know, normally, I jump up and scream when you appear like that. But I'm so tired, I'm just gonna take your stupid advice. [walks away]
[Squidward lumbers into SpongeBob's living room with a vacant look on his face]
SpongeBob, what's happening?
I don't know.
[Squidward's eyes close. He begins to snore and collapses to the ground in a deep sleep. SpongeBob quickly forms into the shape of a mattress and catches the octopus before he hits the ground. Squidward mutters in his sleep and fluffs SpongeBob's eyes like they're pillows. SpongeBob smiles warmly]
Aww, the poor guy was just sleepy.
BDBus driver
What some people won't do to cheat the system.
S10Krusty Katering
Hey, kids, I'm a... [The kids scream at Patrick's clown outfit. Patrick screams and hides in the coral tree]
Hey, I'm not paying you to play hide-and-seek! These children want to be entertained! Get down here! [shakes the tree and Patrick falls off the tree]
Whoa. [belches] This must be the place. [enters Ms. Mildred's room] Hello? Ooh.
[In the middle of the room, there is a large water bed]
Ooh-ee. That is one big—water bed? [touches the bed and it ripples up to the top.
[On top of the bed, Billy is up there bouncing on it]
Birthday cake!
Dogfish!
Hi, Daddy!
Don't call me that! And stop jumping on that water bed! You'll pop it!
Okay, Daddy!
[climbs up to the top] Get over here! [jumps on the bed to grab Billy, but misses]
Hah, Daddy!
Why, you little... [jumps on the bed to grab Billy, but misses again. He growls and tries to catch Billy. However, his pointy feet pops the water bed]
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Uh-oh.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[The water bed explodes water]
:[wanders into the fray of the party with a plate of Krabby Patties and his bottom lip pulled straight up over his nose] Krabby Patty? Krabby Patty?
[A dirt-covered little boy runs up to Squidward and starts touching the patties]
K1Kid #1
Ooh, ooh, oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
[His nose slips out from his bottom lip and he holds the plate away from the boy] You're contaminating the food! Just pick one. [He holds the plate out to the boy again, but the boy sneezes on him- and the plate of patties. The octopus looks in horror at the plate of Krabby Patties covered in snot. The boy takes a Krabby Patty and runs off, laughing. Squidward shakes himself off] I'VE BEEN INFECTED!!!! [More children come and munch on the infected Patties. Squidward retches, causing the children to scream]
Who wants food? I'm a mindless drone with food, working for the man. [picks his teeth with a toothpick and then notices the band. There's even a clarinet player. He's so entranced that his eyes pop out onto the patties
CCustomer
Eh-hem.
[stuffs the plate of patties into her mouth] Here you go, princess. [rubs his hands together, chuckling]
S10SpongeBob's Place
[The scene changes to Squidward walking home until he notices that everyone is lining up inside SpongeBob's house, which is now named, "SpongeBob's Place."]
"SpongeBob's Place?" What in the ocean? [squeezes though some people] Pardon me. Don't mind me! [opens his front door] Just trying to get in my own front DOOR! [enters his house]
[Squidward takes his phone and calls the Health Inspector]
POPhone Operator
You've reached the Health Department. If you'd like to leave a message, wait for the cough.
[A person coughs through Squidward's phone]
Everybody's a comedian. This is Squidward Tentacles, and I'd like to lodge a complaint about my neighbor SpongeBob.
POPhone Operator
Um....
S10Plankton Gets the Boot
[At the Chum Bucket, Plankton is working on The Analyzer]
Oh, Planky-bear? Plankton? [Plankton ignores her] Plankton!
What? What is it, Karen? Can't you see I'm working there! [points right close to the electronic components of The Analyzer]
Yes, but I wanted you to show you my new screensaver. [Shows a screensaver full of flying cake mixers] What do you think?
[sarcastically, not looking at her, and still building electrical components] Great.
[rolls towards Plankton] You didn't even look.
Ehh... [looks at Karen] No, I didn't! Can't you see I'm working on my new molecular analyzer? [The Analyzer starts picturing whatever Plankton says] Now all I need is the smallest molecule of a patty and the formula will be mine!
Just tell me if I should permanently upload the screensaver!
I said not now– [accidentally switches The Analyzer on and he gets sucked up by The Analyzer's tube] Oww-oww! [gets processed into the various machines. He gets smashed by a boot and flipped, dragged over by a robot hand to be wringed out by two other robotic hands. Liquid Plankton goes into another machine to be zapped and processed into binary dump. Plankton makes drowning noises as he is being processed into binary dump]
AThe Analyzer
Analyzing... 30% mean guy, 20% spiteful monster, 50% evil butt-head. Sample is... 100% big jerk. [pushes out Plankton, who is now back in his normal form] I have also analyzed your screensaver, Karen. It is most beautiful! [Rainbow appears on his screen]
No one asked you! [smashes the Analyzer with a wrench] Are you happy now, Karen?
No, I'm not. I was just trying to make myself pretty for you, but do you even care? All you ever do is make stupid schemes about stupid sandwiches!
Stupid? Your new screensaver is stupid and it makes your processor look fat!
[her screen becomes fire] What?????
Oops! Okay, let's all calm down before you say something you'll regret.
You know what? No one talks to me like that. Get out!
I will not get out! This is my restaurant, and no one can make me leave! [gets kicked out]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.