Mr. Krabs quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

Great Barrier Reef! That patty's spoiled!

[reads the tombstone Squidward was looking at] "Here lies Squidward's hopes and dreams". What a baby.

We used to beat people up for saying things like that. Everything's all topsy-turvy now.

Ay, ay-ay-ay-ay... That's me boy, SpongeBob. That's me boy. [SpongeBob walks in the kitchen as a dollar sign while register rings keep sounding. Cut to a line of fish lined up at The Krusty Krab]

I love a happy ending. [laughs]

[sniffs, his breath comes out, revealing seagulls and a lighthouse port, sniffs again] Whoa! Blarney Stone, that's a horrible reek. I knew I was forgetting somethin'.

Gotcha!

Vandalism's a crime too. You've been caught red-handed, Plankton.

"Ar Ar Ar Ar Ar!"

"Mr. Squidward!"

"Spongebob me boy!"

SpongeBob

There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty... with a Help Wanted sign in the window. For years I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line and... I can't do this! [starts to run home and Patrick stops him] Patrick!

Patrick

Where do you think you're going?

SpongeBob

I was just-

Patrick

No, you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab, and get that job!

SpongeBob

I can't! Don't you see!? I'm not good enough!

Patrick

Whose first words were "May I take your order?"

SpongeBob

Mine were.

Patrick

Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in woodshop?

SpongeBob

I did.

Patrick

Who's a, uh, who's uh, oh... Who's a big yellow cube with holes?

SpongeBob

I AM!

Patrick

Who's ready?

SpongeBob

I'm ready!

Patrick

Who's ready?

SpongeBob

I'm ready!

Patrick

Who's ready?!

SpongeBob

I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!

Squidward

[wiping graffiti off of the window of the restaurant as he notices SpongeBob running towards it] Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want?

SpongeBob

I'm ready! I'm ready!

Squidward

[runs inside and screams] Mr. Krabs! Hurry, Mr. Krabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you about-

SpongeBob

Permission to come aboard, Captain! [in French accent] I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew, [normal voice] and now I'm ready. So, uh, when do I start?

Well, boy, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.

SpongeBob

Mr. Krabs, please! I'll prove I'm fry cook material! Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me.

Squidward

No.

Well, boy, we'll give ya a test, and if ya pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew. Go out and fetch me...a...uh, hydrodynamic spatula...with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, and, uh...turbo drive. And don't come back til ya get one.

SpongeBob

Aye aye, captain! One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, sir!

Carry on! We'll never see that lubber again.

Squidward

You're terrible. A hydro-what?

[gasps] That sounded like hatch doors! [sniffs repeatedly] Do ya smell it? That smell... A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells... smelly... Anchovies.

Squidward

What?

[shouts] ANCHOVIES!!!!!

That was the finest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants. Welcome aboard.

Squidward

B-but Mr. Krabs...

Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip!

Squidward

Hooray, Mr.-

Hip-hip!

Squidward

Hooray.

Hip-hip!

Squidward

Hooray. Mr. Krabs-

[walking to his office with a wheelbarrow full of cash] I'll be in my quarters, countin' up the booty.

Patrick

Good morning, Krusty Krew!

Squidward

What would you like to order, Patrick?

Patrick

One Krabby Patty, please.

Squidward

[dozens of patties shoot out of the order window as the view cuts to the outside of the restaurant] What? Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee!

SpongeBob

Wait a MINUTE! [grabs Bubble Bass' tongue and pulls it out, revealing four pickles underneath] Look! He's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time!

And there's the pickles from last time, too!

And there's my car keys!

Bubble Bass

And... there's my ride. [runs out of the Krusty Krab]