Abrasive SpongeBob quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob

Permission to come aboard, Captain! [arrives the chaos with his flying spatula and red lights, singing in a heroic tune through his megaphone] Did someone order a spatula?! [Squidward and Mr. Krabs stammering] That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments! And let's not forget the turbo drive! Would you believe they only had one in stock? TO THE KITCHEN!!! Who's hungry?!

SpongeBob

[to the shell, captioned] You!

SpongeBob

[doing an impersonation of Squidward] Hey, Sandy; who am I?

SpongeBob

I've got too much to worry about.

SpongeBob

[thunder rumbles, Krabby Patties came falling down] It's raining Krabby Patties! [dream ends and reveals to be chewing on a pillow]

SpongeBob

I guess Grandpa SquarePants was right. Never run for a bus [imitates Grandpa SquarePants] especially one that's going up at a 90-degree angle.

SpongeBob

[very upset about what he did] I've failed. My career is over. I'm sorry, spatula. I'm sorry, hat. I'm sorry, floor. [hugs a giant box of Krabby Patties] I'm sorry, Krabby Patties.

SpongeBob

Hey! I'm driving! [the two notice each other and scream loudly. Mrs. Puff skids off the road for a bit, then returns to normal. SpongeBob jumps up] Who are you and what are you doing with my boat? And why are you wearing that ski mask?! Because you're not skiing! Oh, my gosh, I know who you are!

Spongebob

[While Running and hanging on To the stolen boat Mrs. Puff is driving.] I'm... not... letting... go! Nothing will stop me! Not even- [Gasps as he sees the sign that reads...] Giant clams!?

Spongebob

I'm... not... letting... go... even for... [Gasps again as he sees another sign that reads...] Cheese graters!? [skids through the graters thus appearing as nothing but the 4 Yellow Sponge strands with arms While still hanging on to the boat.] If you think I'll let go for a little... [approaches the most worst sign of them all that reads...]

SpongeBob

Aw, what am I getting so worked up about? I'm sure that by tomorrow, this whole ugly mess will be a funny memory. [giggles]

SpongeBob

I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages. [images of a bathtub, a shower, a bar of soap, and then a picture of a girl with pigtails and crooked teeth appear] [walking away] Sorry you had to see that.

SpongeBob

MAN YOUR STATIONS! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Take cover!

SpongeBob

[very upset that Mystery left] Well, what are you waiting for? Can't you see I don't want you anymore? [cries, sees Patrick with a wooden board on his head] JUST GET OUT OF HERE, YOU STUPID, DUMB ANIMAL! [cries harder]

SpongeBob

Anyway, I just want you to know, if you ever get in trouble, come find me. I'll take care of you. 'Cause you and me, we're like brothers. Only closer...

SpongeBob

If I didn't know better, I'd say he was... a robot.

SpongeBob

Gee, I wonder what Mr. Krabs has been up to since I saw him last and then went home to do nothing of particular interest 'til this very moment'.