There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty... with a Help Wanted sign in the window. For years I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line and... I can't do this! [starts to run home and Patrick stops him] Patrick!
Where do you think you're going?
No, you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab, and get that job!
I can't! Don't you see!? I'm not good enough!
Whose first words were "May I take your order?"
Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in woodshop?
Who's a, uh, who's uh, oh... Who's a big yellow cube with holes?
I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!
[wiping graffiti off of the window of the restaurant as he notices SpongeBob running towards it] Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want?
[runs inside and screams] Mr. Krabs! Hurry, Mr. Krabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you about-
Permission to come aboard, Captain! [in French accent] I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew, [normal voice] and now I'm ready. So, uh, when do I start?
Well, boy, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.
Mr. Krabs, please! I'll prove I'm fry cook material! Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me.
Well, boy, we'll give ya a test, and if ya pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew. Go out and fetch me...a...uh, hydrodynamic spatula...with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, and, uh...turbo drive. And don't come back til ya get one.
Aye aye, captain! One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, sir!
Carry on! We'll never see that lubber again.
You're terrible. A hydro-what?
[Squidward and Mr. Krabs laugh]
That was the finest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants. Welcome aboard.
Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip!
[walking to his office with a wheelbarrow full of cash] I'll be in my quarters, countin' up the booty.
Good morning, Krusty Krew!
What would you like to order, Patrick?
One Krabby Patty, please.
[dozens of patties shoot out of the order window as the view cuts to the outside of the restaurant] What? Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee!
Hey, you like karate too. So, what's your name?
Sandy. So what do y'all call yourself?
Well, SpongeBob, take a gander at this. [breaks a rock into pieces]
Oh. Oh, yeah? Watch this! [makes armpit fart noises]
I like you, SpongeBob. Why, we could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-yah!
Uh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-yah! Ow. Say, what is that thing on your head?
Why, that's my air helmet.
Heck no. I need it to breathe. I gotta have my air.
Me too. I love air. Air is good.
Why, "air" is my middle name. The more air, the better. Can't get enough of that air.
Shee-oot. How about comin' over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? Don't be late.
[As SpongeBob is constructing his bubblestand]
Can we lower the volume please? I can't work with all that racket going on!
Oh, sure thing, Squidward!
[He slowly taps on a nail and looks at Squidward's house. For several seconds, SpongeBob continues to slowly hammer the nail every three seconds and glance back at Squidward's house on the pause]
[to himself] Now for some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. [plays his clarinet. SpongeBob proceeds to continue building his Bubblestand super fast, making a loud racket] I thought I... Huh.
Hey, Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents.
Right, like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles.
Oh, please. I mean who in the world would pay to blow bubbles?
Okay, Patrick. It's all in the technique. First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. One, two, three. Then, pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring it around town. Then you do this, then this, and that, and this, and that, and this, and that, and then... [blows bubbles shaped like ducks, a cube, a caterpillar, and a tugboat. When the tugboat bubble pops, it makes a foghorn noise] And now with two hands! [blows a bubble shaped like an elephant]
[Laughing] It's a giraffe. [continues laughing as the elephant bubble floats into Squidward's house]
[The bubble pops and tons of smaller bubbles come out of both windows of the house while the elephant trumpets. Squidward opens the door. SpongeBob and Patrick hide behind the bubblestand and SpongeBob places a closed sign on it]
Excuse me, sir, but we are closed.
Don’t give me any of that! How can you two make noise just blowing bubbles?!
We're not just blowing bubbles, we're making bubble art!
I'll take a banana split.
BBuckley
Uh, we don't have that.
That's okay, I already "split" my pants. Get it?
[Sandy laughs]
BBuckley
[sarcastically] Tee-hee. Anything else?
How about, "ripple"? [Sandy laughs some more] No thanks, already got one.
Oh, no. Everybody's gone, even Sandy. She'd rather hang out with Larry. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. [weeps] We blew it, pants.
PPants
What do you mean "we"?
[Pants walks off]
Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention. Am I the biggest loser on the beach?!
LLupa
No, I am. I forgot to put on sunscreen.
LLoser
No, I am. I got sand in my buns.
LWLoser Whale
No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach. They buried me in the sand and forgot me.
LLoser
What happened to you?
When I ripped... my pants. [starts to sing] I thought that I had everybody by my side, but I went and blew it all sky-high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance, all just because I ripped my pants.
LLosers
♪When big Larry came round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and ripped his pants!♪
[singing voice, a crowd begins to gather] ♪I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse, but the pain feels so much worse. 'Cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun...♪
LLosers
♪Or sand in your buns!♪
♪I learned a lesson I won't soon forget...so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself; don't miss your chance...and you won't end up like the fool...who...ripped...his...pants!♪
Your song is true. If y'all want to be my friend, just be yourself.
SpongeBob, that was so righteous. Would you...sign my pants?
