SpongeBob SquarePants · Season 2
[SpongeBob's feet are stomped into the floor of the Krusty Krab]
SpongeBob, you're shorter. Have you been dieting?
Heh, well, a sponge has to look his spongiest. [walks to the kitchen putting a line of holes in the floor with his feet] Well, I've gotta get to work.
[after making a Krabby patty] Look! a perfect patty.
Alright SpongeBob, Hand it over. [beat] well?
[imagines how Squidward is really far away and how his shoelaces are snakes that will squeeze and keep him from moving. He snaps out of hallucination] Hey Squidward! I've got a idea! How about you come get it?
[sarcastically] Oh, gee, SpongeBob, that's a great idea. And maybe I should cook the patties, and do the dishes, and wear square pants, and live in a pineapple, while YOU wait in the unemployment line!
No!
Then bring that patty here now!
[very upset about what he did] I've failed. My career is over. I'm sorry, spatula. I'm sorry, hat. I'm sorry, floor. [hugs a giant box of Krabby Patties] I'm sorry, Krabby Patties.
What's the meaning of this, Mr. Squidward?
It's SpongeBob's fault.
[gets upset, his eyes turn into steamboat whistles] SPONGEBOB, GET OUT HERE! [SpongeBob peeks out the door] More. [SpongeBob peeks out a little further] More! [SpongeBob stretches himself partially trough the door] All the way, boy! [SpongeBob snaps out of the door and falls too the ground] What be the matter, SpongeBob? I ought to make you walk the plank for this!
I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, it's just that I, I...
Yes?
I... I... I... I... I... I...
Yes, yes, yes?
I... I... I... I... I...
[shakes SpongeBob] Out with it, Boy! What is it?
I forgot how to tie my shoes.
[laughs] That's all?
So, you'll show me how?
I don't wear shoes.
[The camera zooms in to Mr. Krabs' feet, revealing he indeed doesn't wear shoes]
[SpongeBob is shown crawling into his pineapple]
Meow.
Not now, Gary.
Meow.
I'm not in the mood, Gary.
Meow. [the scene changes to SpongeBob's bedroom. Off-Screen] Meow.
[crawls into bed] Just leave me and me untied shoes alone, Gary.
ROAR!!! [knocks SpongeBob off the bed and onto the floor]
Okay, Gary, you have my attention.
Meow. [ties SpongeBob's shoes]
[gasps] Gary! Well, I'll be! You can tie shoes! [Gary shows himself wearing shoes that look like old-style bowling shoes, under his shell] Hoppin' clams! How did you learn to do that?
[Gary's shell opens revealing a record. The song, Loop Dee Loop by Ween starts and SpongeBob starts dancing]
♪Wanna learn how to tie your shoe? [the scene changes to show SpongeBob in a classroom wearing a teacher's outfit and on the chalkboard there are sketches of shoes] It's a very easy thing to do. [Gary appears on a stool. SpongeBob puts on his glasses and taps the board with his pointer] Just sit on down [Patrick appears in the desk next to SpongeBob] and I'll give you the scoop, [Patrick holds out an ice cream cone and SpongeBob gives him a tied shoe that looks like SpongeBob's shoe. Patrick looks surprised] What's that? [the scene changes to show the words "Loop Dee Loop" in shoelaces and SpongeBob pulls on two of the aglets] It's called the loop-dee-loop. [the scene changes to show SpongeBob's leg with an untied shoe] You gotta take a lace in each hand, [two SpongeBobs hold an aglet in one of each's hands goes up and past the screen. The scene changes again to show the SpongeBobs crossing each other's paths] You go over and under again. [the SpongeBobs come back around under the cross path that they made. The go upward and past the screen. They come back and pass each other's path one more time] You make a loop-dee-loop and [the scene changes to show a small SpongeBob tying the lace of a big SpongeBob's shoe] pull. And your shoes are [the Big SpongeBob is shown wearing a top hat and giant shoes. He takes his hat off and kicks the newly tied shoe. It flies off] lookin' cool. [the scene changes to show a SpongeBob multiplying into multiple SpongeBobs and follows the lyrics] You go over and back, left to right, Loop-dee-loop [the scene changes to show SpongeBob holding his laces while jumping] and you pull 'em tight, [the scene changes to show SpongeBob with a bunny toy] Like bunny ears [a present appears] or a Christmas bow, [the bunny toy becomes a bunny slipper and SpongeBob is seen wearing it and the present as shoes] Lace 'em up and you're ready to go. [SpongeBob runs out of the scene. The scene changes to show SpongeBob jumping off of a tight rope wire swing thing. He stops and spins around and then falls] You make a loop-dee-loop and pull, [the scene changes to show SpongeBob and Gary falling into a giant shoe that looks like SpongeBob's shoe] And your shoes are lookin' cool. [SpongeBob pulls on the laces and wings appear on both sides of the shoe and the shoe plane takes off. The scene changes to show the plane passing giant tied shoe laces. The shoe plane hits a roller coaster track and the wings fall off and it becomes a roller coaster car] You make a loop-dee-loop and pull, [the shoe falls off of the track and lands on the ground] And your shoes are lookin' cool.♪
[SpongeBob and Gary pop out of the shoe and the episode ends]
Ah, beautiful springtime, a time for fun and frolic for most, [the scene cuts to the Krusty Krab, zooming in and then right at the front door. Squidward is there] but not for this poor slob.
Oh, what a beautiful day, and here I am trapped in a prison of high cholesterol. [the bell dings] No one ever comes in on Sunday. [the bell dings again] Why can't Mr. Krabs just let us go home? [the bell dings again. Squidward gets angry and growling into SpongeBob. The scene changes to SpongeBob ringing a bell, set on the order window. Squidward runs up to SpongeBob] SpongeBob, stop ringing this bell. [picks it up and slams it on the bottom of the order window]
I was just testing it.
[leans through the order window getting in SpongeBob's face] I will ring the bell when there's an order. But...There's no customers! There hasn't been one all day, and there isn't gonna be any! [struggles to pick up the cash register, but successfully does so and he slams it down making a bell noise]
One Krabby Patty coming up!
No...!
[The register drawer shoots open, knocking Squidward out of the way. A bunch of coins fall onto the floor. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs' office where Mr. Krabs is writing something on a sheet of paper and he stops to hear the money dropping.]
That sounds like me money dropping. [the scene changes to show the outside of the office and Squidward is picking up the coins; opens his office door] What's going on out here?! My babies! [runs up to Squidward and shoves him away] Get away, you barbarian! What have you done? Nice clean money... soiled! [scoops up the coins in his claws] I'll take care of ya. Let papa clean ya up. Clear the way! [runs into the kitchen and starts washing them off in the sink] No, no, no, don't cry, little ones.
What's wrong, Mr. Krabs?
[gets startled and throws the dimes in the air. One dime rolls into the sink and starts to roll towards the sink drain] Me dime! [the dime rolls around the sink drain. Just as it seems like it's about to fall down the drain, it flips over facing away from the drain; gives a sigh of relief. Then the dime jumps, winks, and goes down the drain] No! [grabs the dime in the drain] I got it, boy! [his claw got stuck] What the? It's stuck! You gotta help me, SpongeBob!
You've gotta let go of the dime.
I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy. There's got to be another way! Grab me captain's quarters and heave! [SpongeBob pulls on him from behind a couple times until he gets thrown back without his arms] Me arms!
Oh no, not again!
[Mr. Krabs hits the wall, the impact causing the shelf above him to slant and drop a pot, a glass, a pan, a mug, a treasure chest, an anchor, a buoy, and a scuba suit on his head. A giant bump rises up on Mr. Krabs' head and then a dime falls on it, causing Mr. Krabs to fall over and black out]
I can't believe this is really happening. [sits on the cash register box, then starts to tear up] Today, I start living!
[runs, panics after having a dream that the Krusty Krab is on fire, stops running for a split second] Oh, what am I doing? I am wasting valuable relaxing time, that's what I'm doing! I mean, really. What are the odds? SpongeBob set the Krusty Krab on fire!
Okay, now... say it. [SpongeBob hesitates] Say it.
I can't.
SpongeBob, you're never going to feel better 'til you get this thing off your chest.
[has a purple alien-like leech sucking on his chest] I know, Patrick. [pulls it off and throws it aside]
Say it. [SpongeBob still hesitates] Say it...
I'm ugly.
You're ugly and what?
Square?
No, proud.
Is that what he calls it?
[As we cut back to the pineapple rooftop]
[breathing heavily] That felt great! I feel empowered!
So whaddya wanna do now?
I don't know. How about a movie?
Excuse me, sir. I hope my horrible ugliness won't be a distraction to you.
Not at all boy. [He sniffs SpongeBob's bad breath and makes a hilarious disgusted face expression.] DEUUEAUGH!!!!! [runs away]
They all ran away, Patrick.
I bet there's no line at the snack bar. [cuts to the snack bar] Hello? Hello? They must be on break.
Patrick, is everything okay in here? [hears Patrick sobbing and opens a stall door, then sees him sitting on the toilet with a bag over his head] What are you doing in there, Patrick?
[resentfully] Wouldn't you like to know?
And why is that bag on your head?
[sarcastically] Why? Oh, no reason. [angrily] Except you gave me the ugly! [whips the bag off. SpongeBob recoils and gasps as he walks out] What am I gonna do?! I can't go out looking like this!
Just remember what we talked about; there's power in pride.
That may be fine for you, but I was one of the beautiful people. Now look at me! [his breath reaches SpongeBob, who smells it and makes a disgusted face] I'm almost as ugly as you!
I always thought if I was as ugly as that guy, I don't know what I'd do.
Patrick...?
What's my mom gonna say?
[holding his nose] Patrick?
Oh, my gosh, if my sister finds out...
Patrick?
...wait, I don't have a sister. If the bank...
Patrick?
I mean it's one thing if you have bad shoes or even bad hair, but-
[having had enough, he enlarges to stop Patrick's babbling] PATRICK! [shrinks back to normal] You're not ugly, your breath stinks. Really bad.
[sighs with relief, his stench in the shape of skull and crossbones] Ah, what a relief...
[his eyes water from the foul smell] Ugh, barnacles, Patrick! What did you eat?!
Oh, some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza...
[holding his nose] No, I mean just this morning.
Some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza...
What else?
Well, I had some of your sundae.
[realizing] Sundae... [whips out what's left of it] Patrick! My sundae gave us rancid breath!
Whatcha mean?
[coughs] I mean, we're not ugly! We just stink!
SpongeBob, what do you like better? The Kutie Krab or the Kooky Krab?
For what, dare I ask?
The new name for our new look. I mean, "The Krusty Krab" has got to go. Who wants to eat at a place they think is crusty? Bleh.
Well, sure it's a terrible name, but this is a terrible place. Therefore, the name should be left alone. Right, SpongeBob?
I got it! How about The Khaotic Krab?
How about The Kissy Krab? [smooches]
[dressed as a king] The King Krab.
[holds up a lollipop] The Kandy Krab.
[dressed like a beat poet] The Kool Krab. [dressed as a cowboy] Or the Kowboy Krab. [stretched out] The Kurly Krab. [dressed as a mad scientist] The Kreepy Krab. [dressed as a crazy killer jungle man] THE KILLER KRAB!!
[gasps] No!
You're right, too scary.
[Pause]
The Kuddly Krab! [they both hug and laugh]
[A rainbow of colors fills the screen. Pearl, SpongeBob and an anguished Squidward stand outside the new restaurant. The sign for the restaurant is now a heart and a cutesy robot Krabs is waving his arms atop it. The restaurant outside itself is tie-dyed with colors and rainbows and the flags are now hearts. Balloons are hanging from the roof and giant lollipops come from the chimney. Pearl and SpongeBob, giggling, walk back in the restaurant. Squidward is so mad in fact that the two K's on his uniform catch on fire and he shakes the pole. The female fish and Fred drive by in a car]
It's a shame old man Krabs sold the Krusty Krab.
That's a darn shame. Hey, lady! Do you know where we can get something to eat around here?
THAT'S IT, I'LL QUIT!!! [rips off his uniform, revealing nothing under it. A police whistle is blown and the police fish comes over and writes him a ticket for indecent exposure and places it between his legs] Oops.
[Patrick showing SpongeBob his award]
[reading award caption] "For outstanding achievement in achievement" - 'SpongeBob SquarePants'?
"SpongeBob SquarePants"? That's a funny way to spell my name.
Uh, Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must have got it by mistake.
[sadly] But, it's shiny!
Yeah, but, you know what else is shiny?
Ice cream!
Exactly!
I can find it! Is it in here?
No, don't! That's my---- [Patrick opens the door and an enormous pile of trophies tumble out] award closet.
[tearing up] I want an award!
[pops up with prized ribbons on his eyes] Aw, Patrick, don't cry.
[Patrick cries]
[The phone rings and Patrick picks up the receiver]
[on the phone] Is this the Krusty Krab?
No, this is Patrick. [hangs up and whistles; the phone rings again and picks it up again]
[on the phone] Is this the Krusty Krab?
[annoyed] No, this is Patrick. [hangs up again and continues to whistle; the phone rings and he picks it up again]
[on the phone] Is this the Krusty Krab?
[yelling angrily] NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!! [slams phone back onto hook] I'm not a Krusty Krab.
Uh, Patrick, that's the name of the restaurant.
Huh? FISHPASTE!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
