AAliens
Thank you kindly for inviting us, old timer. Well, we're off to destroy the universe. Yee-haw!
Y'all come back and invade any time.
Annihilate safely.
S12FarmerBob
S12Gary & Spot
Whoo-whee! Looks like Gary is cooking up some fun.
[Gary pushes the plateful of food on the window and rings the bell. The food falls onto Spot and Gary jumps out. Gary and Spot then go to eat their meal.]
It may not be pretty, but to a critter, chow is chow.
[Gary and Spot both eat all of the food until there's nothing left. Then they go to play around, leaving the Krusty Krab a big mess. At the very same moment, Marvin drives by, looking for Gary.]
MMarvin
Come out, come out. [gasps as he hears Gary in the Krusty Krab] Oh, there you are. [bursts through the front door and Gary and Spot stop playing; he slips on the floor, but gets up] Ha ha! I've got you this time. [slips on the Krabby Patty and falls on his face]
[Gary and Spot quickly run off to escape the animal control officer. Just then, Mr. Krabs comes in and is not very happy.]
Ahem.
MMarvin
[holds up his license, but is covered in tomato goo] Animal control, citizen. I'm hunting an errant snail.
I don't give a sea fig about snails! You tripped me silent alarm! [points to an alarm bell with a mime face on it while making a faint tapping noise] Just look at this mess! [attacks Marvin with his claws] Take that, you varmint! [continues attacking Marvin] Take that!
MMarvin
Ow! Ow! Ow!
[Gary and Spot escape the Krusty Krab while Mr. Krabs continues to attack Marvin.]
S12The Nitwitting
Okay, thanks, buddy. I'm going to my club meeting now.
What's your club, hmm?
Uh, it's the Empty Head Society. It's a place where guys like me can give their [reading off a card] "powerful intellects" a much-needed rest.
S12The Ballad of Filthy Muck
Boo! I can't smell, but you two stink!
S12The Krusty Slammer
Vandalism's a crime too. You've been caught red-handed, Plankton.
PPrisoners
Morning, Warden Krabs!
Morning, prisoners! [gasps in horror as he sees the prisoners back in their cells] SpongeBob! What is going on here? I set all these criminals free last night! What are they doing back in their cells?!
Uh, Mr. Krabs, now's probably not the best time to— [Mr. Krabs shrinks back in fear]
[sits at a table eating her Krabby Patty] You know it's a crime to release prisoners early, don't ya? [eats her patty and approaches Mr. Krabs who realizes his error] You're going to prison, criminal. [handcuffs Mr. Krabs]
What? Oh, well, that's not so bad. Pencil me in for a 3:30 massage, SpongeBob.
[takes Mr. Krabs away] Oh, you're not staying here. The Krusty Krab is full. We got a new prison just for you.
[sadly] Oh no. Let me guess... [The scene changes to the Chum Bucket where Mr. Krabs is wearing his prison outfit and is placed in the same birdcage he used for Plankton. Mr. Krabs groans sadly]
Mealtime, prisoner! [laughs while throwing spoonfuls of raw chum in Mr. Krabs' face in an act of revenge for the all the painful torture he endured; Mr. Krabs cries in an agonizing defeat right before Plankton throws some chum into his mouth] Right in the mouth.
S12Pineapple RV
[to Squidward] You should be more careful.
Tisk, tisk, tisk!
Would you two go away and stop ruining my vacation?!
Vacation? Gee, I didn't think Mr. Krabs gave us any vacations.
[pushes SpongeBob and Patrick away from him.] I found someone to cover for me.
SpongeBob, why is your house... [yelling] Driving on the road!
Because we turned it into a RV.
We don't want you to miss that flower blooming.
S12Gary's Got Legs
[Mr. Krabs knocks on the front door to SpongeBob's house.]
SpongeBob! SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Are you okay in there? You catch the flu or something? Ugh. Are you at death's door? Because you know darn well they ain't valid excuses to miss work! [peeks through the window and finds to his shocking surprise that SpongeBob is slithering on the floor with his tongue like a snail; SpongeBob eats some food from Gary's food bowl] Ah! SpongeBob has gone full raving loony. [hears something] Uh-oh! [hides underground as Gary appears]
♪Meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow. Meow—meow—meow—meow—meow—meow.♪ [enters the house]
[Mr. Krabs peeks through the window again. He sees SpongeBob rubbing his head against the chair while Gary's reading the paper. Gary pets SpongeBob and holds out a snail toy for him to play. SpongeBob plays the toy with his eye. Mr. Krabs gasps and drills himself inside through the floor.]
Meow?
What in the name of Neptune's nostrils is going on in here?! SpongeBob, you're acting like you're the pet and that darn snail is the owner!
[hits Mr. Krabs with the toy] Meow! Meow—meow—meow.
[grabs the toy] Bad snail! Down boy! [gets attacked by SpongeBob] SpongeBob, what are you— [gets licked and pummeled by SpongeBob until he pushes him off and shakes him violently] Oh, snap out of it, SpongeBob!
[SpongeBob doesn't respond. Mr. Krabs pulls out a Krabby Patty, breaks it in half and puts it under SpongeBob's nose. SpongeBob smells the patty's scent and shakes himself back to normal, snapping himself out of the strange trance.]
[dazed] Mr. Krabs?
Have you completely lost your mind, boy-o? Snails ain't supposed to have arms and legs.
Aww, but Gary is so happy with his new limbs.
[Gary files his new arms.]
Oh, is he? Well, it's time to cut this nonsense! [growls and goes to fight Gary] Ay! [growls at Gary viciously] Huh-hah! [leaps over to Gary and cuts the arms and legs, returning Gary back to his normal self]
[sniffs the severed limbs] Meow. [slithers over to his food bowl, removes SpongeBob's name and goes to eat his food]
S12King Plankton
Welcome, sea chimps. I'm SpongeBob, your owner.
SCSea chimp king
Forget it, man. We're through with owners, and kings, and aquariums. Whoa! Now that looks like a swell place to live.
[All the sea chimps run into the Chum Bucket. Karen comes out with banana peels all over her monitor.]
[screams] Plankton! Abandon bucket!
Well, that's a write off. [takes out a remote and pushes a button]
[The button activates the Chum Bucket's hand. The hand picks up the restaurant and spins it around and around. The hand throws the restaurant out into the distance with the sea chimps still inside.]
Bye, sea chimps! Have a good flight! It was so nice of you to help relocate the sea chimps, Plankton. You rule!
Not today, SpongeBob. Not today. [takes out his crown] But... someday! [puts it on and cackles evilly before Patrick swallows him and burps out the crown, as the episode transitions out]
S12Plankton's Old Chum
[comes out of the Chum Bucket and sees rotten chum snowing down] What has that yellow idiot done?! [becomes surrounded by an angry mob]
M1Man #1
Our homes have been ruined by you and your stinking chum!
WWoman
Your chum ruined my hair!
Your chum made me dumb!
M2Man #2
You were already dumb.
Well, it didn't make me any smarter!
K1Kid #1
Get him!
AMAngry mob
Yeah! [they grab Plankton and prepare to beat him up]
S12Stormy Weather
GDGale Doppler
I'm in the middle of a severe thunderstorm— [gets hit by a stop sign] And we're bringing it to you li—
[Drizzle blows the microphone into his cloud body. Drizzle zaps Gale and flies right in his mouth and into his body. Gale is lifted in the air and he coughs up the microphone.]
GDGale Doppler
I'm Gale Doppler, and I actually am the weather! [laughs, but thunder rumbles in his body and rain falls; it appears that Drizzle is now taking control of Gale's body and is making him do what he what him to do] Huh? Uh-oh.
Uh-oh. [pulls his right leg and makes an umbrella]
[Drizzle floats Gale back into town and makes him blow wind everywhere. Drizzle then makes Gale's body freeze.]
GDGale Doppler
[shivering] My body is cold! [Drizzle makes Gale create a blanket of snow over the town] I don't want to be the weather anymore. It hurts! [Drizzle produces thunder and lightning in Gale's body, making him wail in pain]
[comes out through the roof of one of the buildings] Excuse me, Drizzle. I don't mean to parade on your rain, but could you please put Gale down? [a gust of wind blows him into the sky] Whoa!
S12Swamp Mates
[walks up the stairs and hears knocking, then opening the door to reveal Patrick at the entrance] Huh?!
Hey buddy! Ready for our playdate?! [squeezes Bubble Bass into a tight hug]
[slaps Patrick and picks him up to scold him] I will not associate with such a dimwitted doofus.
[flattered] Aw, you're just saying that!
S12One Trick Sponge
[sighs as he walks into a kelp forest] Why won't anyone watch my trick?! [falls onto the ground while the word "trick" flies into the air, causing the leaves on the kelp trees to fall down onto SpongeBob] [SpongeBob gets up, covered with leaves. He slightly pulls his kelp mustache, and then sees two pieces of wood and a rock. A lightbulb appears on top of SpongeBob] Hey, that gives me an idea! [scene cuts to SpongeBob putting the final touches on his rock people] There. Good evening, folks, I am the Great Spongedini! Now watch closely, [reveals his cards] the hand is quicker than the eye. Pick a card. Any card. [SpongeBob inhales all the magic playing cards into his mouth, and then starts his magic trick.]
[The magic trick starts when the kelp forest turns into a white screen as SpongeBob turns into magic playing cards, which then transform into a buzzsaw and cut a copy of SpongeBob in-half, and then a rainbow appears. Then ten cut in half/rainbow-colored SpongeBobs, two green, two yellow, two pink, two red, and two blue, each holding one magic playing card start running out as the rainbow disappears. Then, two other SpongeBobs, one on the bottom of the screen, and the other on top of the screen being upside down, start leading a bunch of card people from the top, and the bottom of the screen. Then, two other card people start going over and under each other five times, becoming SpongeBob, and back to a playing card. Then the camera zooms out to see lots of card people on the screen, which then fade to SpongeBob. wearing a magician's outfit, a magic hat on top of his head, and a magic wand for a nose, which automatically makes some flowers come out of it, The Great Spongedini then takes the magic wand out of his nose and turns it into three metal rings, that are linked to each other. Then, The Great Spongedini puts himself through the rings, and then, the rings transform into a cannon that shoots out three colorful fireworks. One pink, one yellow, and one blue. Then, The Great Spongedini appears on the screen again, and then notices a red ribbon stuck through his left sleeve.]
GSThe Great Spongedini
Huh? [The Great Spongedini pulls the ribbon out of his left sleeve, but then reveals a red, blue, pink, green, and orange ribbon that covers the whole screen. Then the scene becomes spirally and gets put into a magic hat. Then, the white screen turns back to the kelp forest and SpongeBob pulls himself out of the magic hat in a pink bunny suit, ending his magic trick.]
Ta-dah! [notices that the audience he made was fake and didn't respond to his magic trick.] Oh... I still wish Patrick was here to see it. [then he notices Patrick sitting on a mushroom, hanging onto another mushroom]
[off-screen] I saw it, SpongeBob! [on-screen] It was astonishable! [Patrick falls of the mushroom and falls flat onto the ground, and pulls himself off the ground]
[hugging Patrick] Oh, Patrick! You showed up just in time! What was your favorite part?
Uh... My favorite part was... uh..."Ta-dah!" I missed everything before that.
Oh, then you haven't seen seen anything yet! [he grabs a hold of Patrick's hand. The two spin around and then they disappear into a magic hat. Some confetti and a card come out of the hat as the two laugh. Fireworks also start coming out of the hat, while the rock creatures stand inanimate]
S12The Krusty Bucket
Well, if it isn't my thieving husband. So did you bring me the— [sees Plankton's mouth full of hair; she picks it up and removes the hair from Plankton's mouth] Hair? [takes a sample of hair and throws the rest away] I only needed one.
Hee-hee-hee! You married a genius, Karen. Using the DNA of Krabs' hair and my own DNA from my antennae— [his right antenna gets snipped off by Karen] Ouch! [his antenna is placed in the machine] I will create a combo-clone of me and Krabs to finally steal the secret formula! [pulls up the lever and cackles]
[The machine turns itself on and fuses the hair sample and antenna sample together. The cloning machine turns on and creates a single being with Mr. Krabs' and Plankton's DNA together. The being turns into a blob and the machine turns off.]
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Behold PlanKrab! [The machine opens the door and the being steps out]
PPlanKrab
Heh-heh-heh.
[The smoke clears to reveal the being. It appears to be a clone with Mr. Krabs' body and Plankton's head.]
PPlanKrab
Arr-arr-arr-arr-arr!
How is this a good thing?
Wake up, Karen! The Plankton side will know everything the Krabs side knows! It'll be easier than taking candy from a baby.
Mm, and we know how successful that was. [turns on the screen to show Plankton trying to steal a lollipop from a baby, but ends up getting sucked on]
This is different! Isn't it, PlanKrab, my pretty? Now, here's my plan.
PPlanKrab
Don't waste your breath, Plankteron. I already mapped out the perfect plot to swipe that formuler-ererer! [gives Plankton a high-five before leaving for the Krusty Krab]
Great! See you soon, P.K.! [sighs] I love that guy. Well, half of him anyway. [laughs until he coughs] Still got a hair in there.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.